under the milkyway

i will kick you in the tights and you will go down! youre very top heavy

2006-01-28T09:24:00.000-10:00

i guess its time for a blog. (since min reminded me how much of i dork i used to be... bloggin every darn day =P)

vegas was fun :) did a lot of walking, shopping, and of course gambling. i have lots of pictures to share... but im too lazy to post 'em now.

so its a new year... 2005 was good to me. had a lot of its ups and downs, but i believe thats just what its suppose to be about.

ive been doing a lot of thinking lately and ive come to the realization that i have had a lot of imbalance in my life - between work/school, my friends, and my boyfriend - where work took up the biggest chunk, and my bf was the next. ive neglected a lot of my friends, not on purpose of course. it is just hard to prioritize my time with the people and things i love. so this year i want to try to find that happy balance. even though the previous year was a good year, i know it could be better.

i will be graduating at the end of this semester. i really can't believe its coming to an end. in some ways... i dont want it to. however, ive worked HARD these four years for this time.. so why am i feeling this way? bleh, i know why. im just scared out of my wits. its the turning point.. for me to grow up and get the fcuk on with my life.

vegas here we come!

2005-12-27T20:59:00.000-10:00

happy holidays!

"you cant jump over the moon till you jump over the cow"

2005-12-10T20:18:00.000-10:00

the quote above was from one of my kindergartners at ASC. how cute, eh? after saying that, he started singing hey diddle diddle. funny stuff. but when i think about what he said... its kind of meaningful! you have to do things one step at a time... before you can achieve the highest jump, you must do the smaller things first. that boy is quite wise, eh? hah

lately i have not been feeling my happy-go-lucky self. i guess you could say its the stress from finals (or should i say final projects. i have no exams this semester) and such... but i think it is much more than that. the fear of growing up is drawing closer and closer. every day when i look at my calendar, i see how FAST everything is moving. gosh damn it is almost Christmas! winter break is going to FLY... and then my final semester will start. I'm already making plans with my internship advisor. i'm reaching the point where i must go out into the real world and grow up. and i am beginning to doubt everything. i am doubting my abilities as an early educator. im doubting my desire to even graduate. i am doubting my relationships. i cannot imagine how things would be like once i am out of school. i guess the uncertainty of my future is what's scaring me the most.

my internship is going to KILL me. there is so much writing that im going to have to do. why does famR make us take TWO writing intensive classes in our last sem?! friiick. i hope i can keep up. i need to figure out how i can time manage next year.

about graduating... im going to be the first one of all my friends to be out! ill be gone from teh school/college scene. I wont be a part of that anymore. and that is a big thing... especially at our age. im feeling ill be left out a lot.

and speaking of being left out. its going to be hard to keep up with friends once i start working. to be an early educator, you must be really committed. but dont get me wrong, i want to be! i just dont know if i want to be so committed to work so soon. and another thing is tim will still be in school - classes, clubs, the works! i don't know if i could handle the idea that i cant be a part of the same thing anymore.

i have a potential position as a preschool teacher for the possible new site at ORLS. so i may not have a hard time looking for a teaching job.. however, im so SCARED! ack. i just cant handle all this anxiety! i question myself every day.. can i do it? will i be good at it? is this what i really want to do? all these thoughts are literally killing me inside.

also, im SOOOO depressed about quitting work. i know i have to leave sometime.. it is just so hard. i've been with those kids for three years. i've watched them grow! its just hard to just one day not be a part of their lives anymore. when i went to the christmas program, dylan's mom almost brought me to tears. not only am i going to miss the kids a great deal, i will miss the parents also - especially those who i am quite fond and close to.

ahhhhhhhhhh i think im going nuts. i have so many things to worry about, to do, and to tend to. i dont know if my mind and body can handle them anymore.. its no wonder that ive been bursting into tears so often lately. i need sleep. a GOOD night's sleep.

but in allllll this heartache, im extremely grateful for those who are there for me. especially tim. he's stuck by me through all my madness... and yet he still wants to be with me! how lucky am i?!

where'd you get the pink fifties, gramma!

2005-11-13T12:23:00.000-10:00

ahhhhh! school has been INSANE! papers, projects, readings up the yingyang! doh. i've been slacking a bit... gotta get my butt in gear. i have a big curriculum project due next monday.. so ive been working on that. it seems to be going okay... i dont know when ill be conducting my lesson plans though. which is a big part of my project too. bleh.

well good news. ive completed the internship interviews! i had two sites: Kamehameha Preschools and the Toddler Program. It was a no brainer... I'm going with kamehameha. hah. the toddler program was just not what i was looking for... although i DID want to try something different... i guess im not ready for too much change yet. heh.

the semester is almost coming to an end.. quite a scary thing. however, i really am looking foward to the end... i love the holidays.... especially when its spent in VEGAS! cheehheeee. well, actually i'll be going for only new years. it should be incredibly awesome though. :) unfortunately, i am now BROKE. no money for the holidays! :(

this is all we need tonight

2005-10-23T11:19:00.000-10:00

ive been slacking in my updates. its the same ol' thing, however. just stressing with school, work, intern, etc. min said ive spread myself thin... and i think hes right. i need to find something so i can run away from things. so far playing video games with my favorite boy has done me well. haha :)

well, living alone at my condo has been all right so far. i havent really had to stay there too much alone because i just go there to sleep and such. jill spent the night sometime the other week. twas fun :) even though we couldnt really do much since i had to wake up early the next morning.

last weekend i went to my first UH football game. i had a blast with friends and watching the game. its so exciting to watch it live! i want to go to the next game :) should be fun. and its a great way for me to forget about things, eh? hopefully timmy can come and we can alllll hibachi. woohoo.

k i need to make an action plan for myself. i'll start that right now..! im such a dork :( but if itll help me to get back in line... hooray for dorks? doh

2005-10-09T17:32:00.000-10:00

the days are just flying by. interning at KSE has been incredible. it makes my whole week go by in a blink of an eye. last week and this coming week i have no work at ORLS. it gave me the opportunity to concentrate more on doing things for KSE :) i had my first science lesson on friday with two separate small groups of six. it was incredibly awesome to the max! i had a lot of fun working with them. this is definitely my calling :)

well in other news, my room mate for three years have moved out :( she decided to move in with her boyfriend.. so she gave up living in a million dollar condo in waikiki. how strange, eh? well, now i have a 2bdrm condo to myself. people say im lucky.. but at the same time, i dont feel so lucky. i miss the company of having a room mate. another girl to chill with after a long day. but oh well. what can i do? i cant have a new room mate. my aunty decided that id stay there alone so that she doesnt have to worry about getting in trouble. supposedly shes not allowed to rent the condo out in the first year. its some kind of owner's agreement. so that is why im staying there for free :) and tim is right. i have to think of it this way, im saving $500 to NOT have a room mate. it hasnt been so bad since shes moved out. also because timmy has been staying with me a few nights. i've been sleeping in the living room the whole time, however. the bedroom just seems so big and the living room feels more cozier right now.. hehe. so far only a few people has seen it. one day i might have a little get together... we'll see.

my dad flew in yesterday. this time he is home for good. the military life is finally over for him.. for us. everyone is askign how im feeling now that my dad is back. honestly i feel indifferent. call me heartless or whatever, but i dont have any feelings about him being home. maybe it hasnt sunk in yet. and maybe its because i dont have that father-daughter bond with him. it WILL be different nowthat he's home. but im never home. i have my own place. so perhaps it wont be so bad. there are many possible reasons as to why i am like this towards him.. but they are really no excuse. i should put everything aside.. start over.. just be his daughter.

above and beyond!

2005-09-24T20:53:00.000-10:00

ok my lovelies, i apologize for the lack of photos for this entry.. but i just don't have time to load them and what not.

this past week was quite a bit stressful. but it ended grreeaatt.. and thats all that matters.

tim and i made one year on thursday (sept22)! <333333 despite all the little quarrels and heart aches, i love the boy very much :) love is patient. mhmm. anyway, he took me to tanaka of tokyo for dinner, which was really awesome.. then walked waikiki for a bit, drank and laid out on the beach.... it was a wonderful night. it was kind of a bummer that we both had a very long day though.

on friday i went to kamehameha kindergarten's open house. that was a lot of fun. i'll share some of the pictures next entry.

i was completely wrong about myself. i THOUGHT i could handle working at kamehameha in the morning then go to class THEN go to work... but apparently its a lot more exhausting than i thought. the kids really drain you - physically and mentally. they thrive off of the teachers' emotions @_@

that friday night i went out to dinner with min, which was very very nice :) i havent seen that mofo in such a long time.. so it was great catching up with him. its very hard keeping track with people nowadays.. even if they are close friends.

good news. i got the key to the new condo! cheehee! i'll be moving things in slowly tomorrow afternoon :) yay for hte new condo! tim and i went up to see it with my aunty this evening... its gorgeous... and hte view is awesome. i can see my apt from my window. HAH! i can point down and laugh. har har!

k. off to do my paper!

i need you here tonight, just like the ocean needs the waves

2005-09-18T16:09:00.000-10:00

another week of school is over. im terribly behind.. i have a unit plan that i must start on.. but i havent :( i have a directed independent research paper that i have to start also... but i havent... i have a five page paper due tomorrow.. yeah, you guessed it.. havent started. its horrible! but.. ive been keeping up with my webct and my field observation.. hah!

i had my second field observation on thursday. it was so awesome. there was a substitute because mrs. h was sick :( it was a nice experience though. i could see a definite difference in the energy of the class when there is a sub. it was great helping her out though. i was able to conduct a lot of things.. it felt like **I** was the teacher :) hehe. just another experience that clarified that THIS is what i want to do :) the future is exciting...

the week seemed to drag on.. but once friday came, the weekend went full speed ahead. tim and i spent friday night loungin' at his apartment, eating genki sushi, playing star wars battlefront, and watching futurama. i cant ask for anything more relaxing than that. the next day we went to borders to study with jHo and tim's friend judy. i got to finish my chapter 4 test and they got to study their econ @_@ BLAH TO ECON! then was the MAE show at pipeline. we met up with jason, kyle, jon shindo and his friend at the front. the line was fookin loonnnggg! i then understood why mae changed from kapono's to pipeline. the definitely made more $$$ hah. damn youngn's! anyway, i had crazy mad cramps.. i couldnt really stand up too well or it would hurt like helllll. i missed out on standing up for pennylane...

it was so awesome to see them play again. i remember corey telling me that they had their last show and we missed out on that... oh well! got to see them one last time. they came back for one more show because they didnt want to pass on opening for mae.

once mae was about to go on, i figured i didnt want to waste the night by sitting and watching... so i joined tim and jason on the floor. i didnt expect it to be a high energy crowd.. but it was! mae was incredible live! I lost tim and jason, but i had the time of my life just letting loose and i forgot all about the pain my abdomen. (only because i had NEW pain in my toe where many people stepped on repeatedly.. doh!) i was able to crowd surf a number of times. it was good fun. :) i full on spun in midst of crowd surfing, fell on my ass on teh equipment on the stage, lost my left shoe on the stage, had to go back up to get it (one of the guitar players handed it to me... <3<3), and almost fell on my back but caught some guy's shoulders with my legs. HAH! good times. but now my whole body is sore.. and i have a bruise on my butt... i cant sit very well :( bleh.

i had fun :)

next is reel big fish and lifehouse. lifehouse should be fun because its at kapono's. i want to see what a 21+ crowd is like. reel big fish i could care less for... haha! dont kill me, tim and ca! @_@ but ska isnt my thing.. BUT! i want to go :) and make sure my bf doesnt kill himself in the crowd @_@ crazy boy!

well, the apartment is beginning to be cleaned out. i'll be moving things in slowly this week i think... im gonna need some muscle men to help me move my futon and my mattress... oh and tv.. and bookcase... eep... practically everything i have. hah! i cant wait. the condo is awesome. yay for jen and me!

i think ive found my new addiction tonight

2005-09-11T20:49:00.000-10:00

HAHA i laughed out loud at my post before this. my grammar was incredibly horrible. hahahha. wow. anyyyway, school has been quite hectic. a lot of things are going on at once, sometimes i feel as though i cant keep up. some crap have been going on with my apartment also. rent is doubling in the next month (october). $1100!!! thats too fricken insane. no way any one bedroom is worth that much. im in the process of moving... to where..? not quite sure yet.

well, the pictures below are especially for MIN :) he mentioned he liked to see pictures of him on my blogger... but he did say that while he was a tad drunk.... so we'll see what he thinks :)

mae's concert is this saturday~! yay! should be fun :) it would be nice to let loose after a loooong week @@

someone take me away

2005-09-03T20:28:00.000-10:00

school has started. and its a pain in the ass. im so overwhelmed with all the crap i have to go through. its only the first couple weeks too... i got so much classes and assigments to worry about.. PLUS the internship preparation for next semester! MAAADDDNESSSSS!

good news though.. i worked at ORLS' preschool for the past week. it was a lot of fun opening the program and such. and i learned A LOT for delle. OH! and CIRCLE TIME IS FUN! hehehe :)

more good news.. ill be working at kamehameha kindergarten for my field observation :) its going to be so awesome working with kids. funny thing is my mentor teacher was the SAME mentor teacher for my cousin's wife when she did her OP.

pictures below are from my uncle's birthday party at Lung Fung in niu valley. good fun :)

anyway, this post is lacking in words... but i dont care. i have to get stuff done for school now. BLAH

every night is a dream thats not real

2005-08-21T21:18:00.000-10:00

hooray! the long awaited 21st birthdays for tim and i have finally passed. :) we had quite the week since our bdays are two days apart. and since its so close, we spent the whole week as if it was our birthday. well, maybe we didnt really spend it like it was our bday, but it sure felt like it. the whole week was wonderful :) i couldnt ask for more.

on monday we stayed up till midnight watching a man on fire.. then i chose to spend my bday at the beach in the morning. we played frisbee, relaxed under the big trees, and did silly races against each other. soon after i had to go to work. the kids were so awesome. the other day they all signed a card that jordan (second grader) made for me. and taped in the construction paper card was a biscotti and stationary stamps. :) tooooo adorable. once work was pau, tim and i got ready to meet up with my mom and brother at legends seafood restaurant in chinatown. it was a nice dinner. my mom surprised tim and i with little slices of european cake. mmmm :) tim and i caught the movie the island after dinner. it was pretty neat for a sci-fi movie. i like ewan mcgregor.. so i enjoyed it. it had its lame parts.. but i didnt mind. so that was pretty much my birthday. i didnt want to go out drinking or anything because i wanted to wait for tim first.

wednesday morning i woke up feeling really sick :( i had a runny nose and my throat was sore @_@ we spent most of the day indoors... except when i had to go to work. that night tim made this salmon and tea dish... unfortunately for me i couldnt taste anything :( even though i was feeling really horrible i wanted to stay up til midnight for tim's bday.. so we played online pool and yahoo! towers together. twas good fun.

for tim's bday we went to the DMV to renew our licenses.. i didnt realize that the lines were crazy long there @_@ we waited for a good two hours! i was very disappointed..because that wasnt how i wanted to spend his birthday morning/afternoon. when we finally got our IDs, we went to kua aina's to eat sandwiches and then i went off to work. afterwards tim and i got ready for dinner at the prince court with his family. his mom bought me a present(s). many random treats... so very awesome =P that kind of gift is fun... unlike the money my mom gave me. but money is good... i can save up for that new razor cellphone... heehee =D after dinner, tim and i went over to D&Bs. we called a few people but they were all tired (probably from the long work day :() we ended up bumping into a friend of his and a friend of mine from PCHS. it was hanging out and playing games :) chip away is a fuunnn game. haha. afterwards we had some crazy fun. mreow!

friday, tim's friend sara had a beerfest dealy at her house. it was fun watching them play king's cup. i ended up playing one round of it also.

then saturday came around. it was sort of min's idea to hang out and what not.. but he ended up not coming :( so it was shawntell, jillian, tim, and me playing at D&Bs yet again. it was fun hanging with those two gals. i kind of felt bad for tim since he was the only guy and all.. doh! but it was good fun nonetheless..

well, now after that nice, relaxing birthday week.... its time for school :( this semester is going to be a crazy one. hooray for tomorrow........

Open up your eyes and see that you're all I need

2005-08-13T15:52:00.000-10:00

its been another long week. a week of exhausting kids and insecurities yet again. i dont know why ive been faltering lately. perhaps its because im scared of the future. scared of what we could become or what we could not... i forgot everything that truly mattered. but like always, ive found my sanity and realized im just over-reacting. maybe i am a drama queen? and the only drama i cause is with myself..

well, im thankful that we could always work things out. also, im so glad to have friends who'd listen to me... and make sure if i was ok (moMIN! thanks for calling me after your date..)

so after all teh turmoil, i spent the night out watching the moon set, finding shooting stars, making cloud shapes... le sigh. it was like falling in love all over again.

my birthday is on tuesday! :) hooray for drinking legally.. hah! i want to go to the beach... i need to fix my tan. its a bummer that i work though. i should take off... but it wouldnt be too good because then there would only be three people watching those kids @_@ timmy's bday is two days after mine... its so neat that we have it so close. :)

ill be cutting my hair tomorrow! i havent had short hair in over a year! well... super short hair. ive been keeping the length between my chin and shoulder. im not sure if i want to cut it super short again because that means id have to take care of it...doh!

and im on fire for you, clearly

2005-08-08T20:55:00.000-10:00

woo, i downloaded the new coldplay CD. pretty neat, ill say. its quite different from the typical colplay im used to listening to. however, i really enjoy the tunes and the lyrics in this X&Y album. incredible. he has such a lovely voice. so lately ive been listening to aqualung and coldplay on repeat. ive been tossing in recieving end of sirens once in a while. but i think my mood has been pretty mellow as of late.

my brother's birthday was on the second of august. i cant believe hes seventeen now! sheesh... a SENIOR! time is sure flying by. hes now driving to school, going out with girls...he's TALLER THAN ME. mannnn... my little brother is all grown up. i guess hes gotten a lot more mature. i think hes beginning to gain more respect towards my mom and i. hopefully once my dad comes back home from japan he'd shape that boy up. i think its hard for my brother to really look up to anyone because hes in a house full of girls. so its either to adopt the values of the girls he lives with or just make up his own rebellious way of life. perhaps having my dad back, he could see how he treats other people and what not. and maybe my dad could put down some rules and be stern with him. my mom has a hard time doing so. oh well, point is... my brother is growing up, becoming his own person. and in some ways i feel proud of him :) but other times... GRR! haha!

i spent one night out with shanwtell. it was nice to get away from things a bit. the previous night was a bit crazy due to my jealousness. it was fun eating dinner with her at CPK and then cruising ala moana afterwards. she showed me the pants she ripped... haha. big butt thats why. we decided to go running some time. at least once a week. im gonna have to buy running shoes @_@

well, i guess thats pretty much the highlights of the past week. ive been having some insecurities in the relationship.. but ive gotten over it. :) im just extremely lucky to have such a wonderful bf in my life right now. <3

we know you love your pets!

2005-07-29T19:14:00.000-10:00

jill and i bought mice on monday! arent they just adorable?! we decided to hang out... but weren't sure of what to do. so we just talked a bit at my house and then headed to the millilani town center for lunch. i suggested stopping by the pet store..... and thats pretty much how we got the mice. too cute to not buy them. hah. anyway, jill supposedly bought a girl and a boy (Brows and Panda). However, Brows turned otu to be a BOY. hah! too funny. I got two females, Oreo and Smalls/Smores/Scraps (her name is interchangeable). its great to have mice again. having pets makes me feel different. i can't really pinpoint what it is though. maybe i just feel all "warm and fuzzy" inside. haha.

what's really funny is that the next day, my brother found a little kitty wandering around pearlridge. he talked to the security guards and they said no one's come to claim him yet. so he offered to take the kitty home. the kitty had some crazy stitches from his left to right thigh. it went straight across his belly.. poor kitty. anyway, i suggested to my brother that he should contact the humane society and hopefully someone would claim the poor runt. he sure was cuuuute. i actually didnt want to give him up. but i dont have time to care for it.. plus he was still so small... very rascally. snuggles didnt like him much.. hah. anyway, teh humane society came to our house to pick him up the other day. he said the stitches didnt look like what a professional would do =/ he also said that the cat seems like he would be adopted easily since he was sociable.. and oh so cute. heehee. so hooray, i hope a good family finds him.

i saw march of the penguins today with tim :) it was sooooo awesome. i loved it :) it was beautifully shot.. and watching these animals' behaviors was very neat. theyre so incredible. if it wasnt a movie about love, id say its a movie about dedication, the mother and father instinct, and selfless investment... they go through so much to have this baby. i think its a really inspirational movie for penguins to watch... haha.

i started work today! hooray for me! theres a lot of new kids... adn A LOT of kindergartners. i have to make a new program because our study hall teacher retired @@ so now theres actually going to be more work this year. bummer! haha. actually im really excited to be back. and figuring out a new program is goign to be fun :)

congrats to jonN for getting that manager position at sunglasses hut. i might just work there also. hahaha. could be fun.... =D

suddenly you're mine, and its brighter than sunshine

2005-07-24T17:12:00.000-10:00

my mood has been like a pendulum. i cant seem to control my emotions lately. i think its all just a coincidence that i had lack of sleep, got my ma'i, then had a little drinky drink all around the same time.. thus making me seem like im an emotional wreck. when [i think] i truly am not. oh well, i'm just thankful that i have someone patient enough with me... even though its hard at times.

this past friday was our ten months :) we spent the afternoon shopping at ala moana, takin a cat nap, having an early dinner at Sunset Grill, and seeing an opera. :) i had such a great time. the opera was incredibly weird.. yet hilarious. pirates! ARRR, MATEY! im glad that tim enjoyed his first opera. next opera season (jan-mar), we'll definitely be seeing another one :)

yesterday was min's little bday get-together. poor guy cant drink anymore. i think after his drinking antics on his birthday, i'd develop an aversion towards alcohol also. i re-figured out why i dont drink anymore. i get so damn needy. its not good at all. i dont usually see myself as a needy person... do you think alcohol shows your true side? or perhaps it shows a side that youd want to repress, even if its not really a true side of you. hmm... i dont know. but i do know i dont want to drink again. (but of course there are exceptions... i'll figure them out)

ive been listening to aqualung again. i love his voice. its soothing like chris martin's (coldplay).

Another Little Hole
Aqualung

No need to tell her, she knows that there another little hole in her heart.
Each day, each dollar, she knows it tears another little hole in her heart.
'Cos she feels it happen.
No doubt that theres another little hole in her heart

The day is breaking
and the time is taking the love we're making away
This life can only leave us lonely
Theres no tommorow
Just another little hole in her heart

No need to tell me, I know that theres another little tear in my eye.
I'm quite aware, I see thats there another little tear in my eye.
Do you ask yourself, "why should we ask ourselves why?
Is there any point in wondering why."

The day is breaking
and the time is taking the love we're making away
This life can only leave us lonely
Theres no tommorow
Just another little tear in my eye

I don't know i don't know i don't know i don't i don't know

The day is breaking
and time is taking the love we're making away.
The gods have spoken, the spell is broken and love will tear us..
Love will tear us apart

This life can only leave us lonely
Theres no tommorow
Just another little hole in my heart

Don't know i don't know i don't know i don't i don't know

take a look at me now

2005-07-21T13:51:00.000-10:00

jill and i went shopping on monday :) it was nice to hang out with her after so long. its a real bummer now that we're all so busy and such. but im thankful that we're still able to find time to see each other.. even if its for a few hours.

and i guess it seems like its like that for everyone. a little time here and there with people who i thought i was so close to.. and even who i wasnt that close with. ive realized its not that i need new friends. how can i possibly think that when i have the most wonderful friends ever? i just need to find the time to be with them.. its not about finding new friends. new friends are great, though. don't get me wrong. im all up for meeting new people. but im not going to worry about making a new girlfriend... or finding a new clique. im happy with what i have already. all i need are more days in the week, more hours in a day, more minutes in an hour.

the person who i see almost everyday, who i talk to all the time is not just my significant other, but also my absolute best friend. its such a cliche to say, but its true.

friendship is not a selfish thing. yes, people become friends for the fact that they would gain something from it. but its reciprocal. how can it be selfish if its a mutual give and take?

tomorrow tim and i will be going to see Pirates of Penzance for our ten months. hooray! im very excited.. hehehe :) i havent been to an opera in a good two years @_@ it should be fun. k. im out!

so long and thanks for all the fish

2005-07-17T18:37:00.000-10:00

hmm, i finished my summer reading today. hooray.

it sure was entertaining. :) at first i thought i was a bit disappointed because i wanted to read about adams' whole bit on the universe's creation from an alien's sneeze. but it wasnt in the book, even though it was in the movie... well, i just found out that there are an additional FOUR books to the story. haha. and i thought the randomness ended already.

well i found them online. this internet deal is pretty nifty. ive been making the most of my online resources today.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
Life, the Universe, and Everything
So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish
Mostly Harmless

the internet is so neat! i dont know why i never thought of looking up books online before. awesome. and i finally started an amazon.com account! woohoo. and ive made a couple purchases... but its a secret! no one will know for maybe another month. i hope they come in on time. @_@

im hungry..i havent eaten all day. i think ive reached the pinnacle of my laziness. now i should be going back down to normal.

your only escape

2005-07-16T23:47:00.000-10:00

sometimes you'd wish people would say the right things to make you feel better. and when they don't, you'd think about what they should have said... but couldnt figure out what they could have said. so you find yourself in a state of.. "confusement"... and frustration. i wish i had a happy pill. or a happy switch. i hate feeling weird and unhappy. but who does... bleh.

maybe its the summertime blues. too much of having fun. i need routine again. i need to feel productive.. i need to clean my apartment.

why do i worry about NOTHING?! thats just me, i guess. i worry about everything and anything.. if you feel stressed, ill feel it too.. and ill be worried for you... so dont you worry about a thing..ill do the worrying for you. yup.

btw, i love this boy and of course his pearly whites. harhar.

blargh. i cant sleep.

i guess i should finish that book im reading.. almost pau with my summer reading. yay. i want to read palahniuk's new book haunted. seems prety neat.... :)

k this is depressing. i cant even ramble about nonsense. i should just quit trying already. gnite blog.

tonight the sky is falling

2005-07-11T00:37:00.000-10:00

this past saturday night was kyle's "surprise" bday party. its funny how it was a surprise.. since he knew about it all along. O_o but nonetheless, it was a greeaaattt party. his girlfriend, melissa, was an incredible party planner. i should hire her to plan mine. it had a las vegas theme and we were SUPPOSE to dress to match it... but it was quite hard.. since most of the girls werent up for dressing like showgirls. so melis changed it to a couple's thing. tim and i were planning to go either as romans or bums... (quite different, eh) but we ended up wearing our PJs because that was the quickest thing to get together. at the party, we played a bunch of games (which i won... NONE.) and just mingled with friends :) it was quite a surprise to see josh at that party. i havent seen that punk in about exactly a year. pretty weird since he only went because he had to drive his friend joseph.. and he didnt know kyle or anyone else for that matter (except for me of course, but that was a surprise).

today was pretty fun :) i taught tim part of the beginning of the bells of notre dame (from Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame) on the piano. he then taught me how to drive standard in return. he took me out once before but i pretty much forgot how it all went.. but this second time around wasnt as bad as i thought it would be. it was quite fun actually. although i was tense the entire time. doh!

ohhh tim borrowed the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy book for me! it is soooo hilarious. lo encanto MUCHO! its got to be the funniest sci-fi book ive ever read. sometime in high school i read camelot 30k.. that was pretty funny.. although i dont think it was meant to be humorous. hah. sometimes scifi can be a little too outlandish for me. but not the hitchhiker's... hahahaha. its so far beyond bizarre that its incredibly awesome.

this week should be fun.. i have a five page paper to do. YAY! hah. ill be hanging out with ant on wednesday. i havent seen that fooker in months. should be nice. ooh, and tim has his FISH SCHOLORSHIP interview on thursday! woooo. im so excited for him. itll be such a great opportunity to travel asia next summer.. even though id miss him.. a lot. haha @@ he totally deserves this. smarty pants, that boy is.

i thinkim off to reading that book... ive got about two-thirds left to go. weeeee.

summer lovin'

2005-07-06T13:38:00.000-10:00

yes, i know summer has been in session for quite a while. its just that i feel i havent made a real summer post since it started. so here we go.

a lot have been going on this past month. i suppose it had its ups and downs, but im happy to say that the majority of the time was all good.

i got to spend some time with some friends from high school. arjay and i hung out a couple hours at starbucks one night. we exchanged many stories. mine consisted of just school, work, relationships, and life in general. whereas his were so exciting.. traveling the states and the world, the sorts of people he met, the action he encountered being in krygystan, etc etc. but i suppose thats just military life, eh? i hung out with jonN a few times. he's still the same ol' guy from high school. except that he's older and has more money. that boy is such a work-aholic. i also grabbed dinner and watched a movie with matt. i havent seen that kid in over a year. thats a hell of a long time, especially since we used to be quite close in high school. in some ways hes still the same.

it feels different hanging out with old friends... it feels like ive changed a lot. and perhaps i did. we all want different things now and we're going in totally different directions. its hard to find common ground again. i guess the only thing that we still share are old memories. but could that be enough? oh well, i know for sure that each one of them are still my friends and i love them no less.

so keeping in touch with old friends seem to be working out a bit. occasional phone calls, emails, and/or text messages here and there. but what about my current friends? its hard to find time anymore. they're usually busy with work, school, or things to do with their own family. and if theyre not busy.. i am. i guess this is all just growing up. looking at my mom and my aunties, its not like they see their friends every day either. theyre lucky if they get to see them once a month. also the friends that they considered were close arent so close anymore. they only have a couple real good friends. im just very thankful that i know i have a few friends that i know i can definitely count on whenever.

things at home arent so fun. my relationship with my mom seems so much better when i dont live with her. i guess thats always the case. but i like being at home with her.. only thing that frustrates me is she's not happy the majority of the time. she could be goign through menopause. im pretty certain thats the reason.

summer school is craptacular. its hard for me to keep up with it and always having to check webct. but now that tim has summer school, we could push each other to do our work and keep up with it. hmm, i got a B on the first paper... wchih really discouraged me. i want an A! bleh. maybe im too hard on myself. my expectations for myself are too high.. i cant be perfect. but i cant help myself. i always expect too much.. id like to blame it on the voices in my head (seriously)

i LOVE summer movies. war of the worlds was incredible. i enjoyed it a lot. i like how the story of the aliens never dominated the film. nor did they dominate the scenes. like ant said, it was more so about the human emotion and intensity that they felt. i read the book a LONG time ago, so i really dont remember what happens in it. all i know it was veyr different. one film i really want to watch is the march of the penguins. that movie just looks so adorable. almost like a national geographic film, but with a story that contains no real script. i heard it was a french film and when the US got a hold of it, they dubbed over with morgan freeman. i think it may have been better if it was in french with subtitles. only to keep its originality.

i suppose its good that i havent been watching a movie in theaters every week. i save a lot more money.. hehe. but i do miss those movie watching days.

okay, ive blabbered long enough. i feel like im coming back :) hopefully.. haha.

and im proud to be an american

2005-07-05T23:31:00.000-10:00

july fourth. another year of get-togethers, family, friends, and of course fireworks.

and there are ants in my laptop.

ill be writing in this more soon....

this day and age...

2005-06-19T23:46:00.000-10:00

... is a good band. :)

i'm not the one who falls down

2005-06-18T19:05:00.000-10:00

so things at home aren't looking too happy. my mother is giving me the silent treatment. and i dont know what the hell i've done.

its sad to know when your mom believes that shes a failure and tells her children in their face that she's failed because she didnt raise perfect, intelligent kids.

but i love my mom. i love her so much. if i could, i'd spend all my time with her. however, i cant anymore. i have other things to do. other people to be with. i have my own life outside of family.

its wonderful enough that we have sundays together.

i know ill never be good enough for her, for the people she talks to, or for anyone for that matter...

i just feel so alone right now.

why is that the more alone i feel, the more i want to push the people who's close to me further away?

im going to be the cause of my own destruction. one day something will snap and im goign to destroy everything thats ever made me happy.

i cant let that happen. please dont let it happen.

i need someone strong to be here for me. whether it be a family member, a friend, or a lover.

i cant be strong all the time.

i always believed my mom was so strong. strong and independent. she practically raised my brother and me by herself. she's dealt with or should i say.. dealing with a military marriage. and we all know how unstable those are.

but ive finally figured it out.

within these couple weeks of talking about life's mistakes, failures, death, and then giving me the silent treatment, i've finally figured out my mother.

shes not what i thought she was. shes as weak and as vulnerable as any other person can be. and i hate to admit this... so am i. shes not the woman who i admired my entire life. shes gone downhill. and it upsetting. i feel so disappointed...

and i feel ive failed as a daughter.

summertime

2005-06-15T11:40:00.000-10:00

i must admit ive been rather lazy as of late.
- i have tons of pictures to put up but i never got around to it.
- i have a summer school class that i must keep up with but i only bought the book yesterday and ive been doing all my assignments last minute.
- i am currently NOT earning an income.. i have to get off my ass and find a job. (upside is stan found out there MAY be openings at the waikiki community center for student assistants... i just need to push myself out the door. but first redo my resume >_<)
- i have a house and apartment to clean after but ive done zippo.

but let me tell you what i have done...
+ ive gone to the beach numerous of times so now im black as night. if in a dark room, you can only see me when i smile.
+ ive spent (although short..) quality time with friends i dont get to see often - shawntell, jillian, jonN, arthur, lanceG, C.A., jason, pam, and ronald.
+ watched movies in and outside of theaters - all of star wars... except for VI.. will see soon!, madagascar, mr and mrs smith, and high tension. i used to watch at least one movie a week... it would be neat to start that up again.
+ got a little crafty. in the process of making a felt and puffy paint bag (i just have to add a moon) made hemp bracelets (havent done that in YEARS), and made a little dog holding flowers out of beads (super adorable.. i want to do the turtles now).
+ spent mucho time with teh timmy :) i kicked his butt in air hockey.... haha yay. he bruised me while playing frisbee :( abunai! but good fun =P
+ met up wtih min and alan one night to plan for our canada trip.

so thats been my summer so far. looking past the few negatives.. i say its going well.

i want to be happy this summer. last summer was full of ups and downs. i want everything to be GOOD.

left my heart in NY

2005-05-27T08:49:00.000-10:00

wowzers, the vacation rocked :)

cheri- you're incredibly awesome for letting us stay with you :) hope we werent too much of an inconvenience.

jilllllllybeans- thanks for egging me to do this trip with you. it was the shiiiiiet. haha.

timothy- if it werent for you, i think us gals would have been in some weird situations... and also, i dont think we would have gotten around NY without you.. since cheri couldnt make it.

lots of pictures to share.

ill be making a collage once i get the rest of the pictures from timmy. yeeaahhh.

come fly with me

2005-05-14T22:26:00.000-10:00

hooray for summer vacation.

boston AND new york, here we come :) (thanks for the reminder, jill =P)

im just about packed... i think. i hope i dont freeze my ass off... lucky thing tim is coming. tim-coats are warm. hah. i sound like a cannibal.. skin coats... eww. wtf. O_o

tomorrow is a busy day... hooray for that. the time will go by faster. chee.

and just a forewarning to jill, cheri, and tim... i might be a little emotional on this trip... hahahah doh!

POW!!!!!!

2005-05-13T09:00:00.000-10:00

i am PAU HANA ! hahaha.

finals week took a massive beating on me.. but i got out with eaasseee... (somewhat). it is now time to C-E-L-E-B-R-A-T-E!

and and and... BOSTON here we come :) cheri rocks the hooouuuse for letting us stay with her. cheehee.

adieu adieu, kiddies.

yo mama

2005-05-09T01:35:00.000-10:00

hmm... its 136AM and i cant sleep.

at a time like this.. i'd like to talk to someone. more like have someone talk to me. i need someone to lull me to bed, hah. but i dont have hte heart to call up anyone at this hour... just because *I* can't sleep.

usually when i cant sleep, i like to blame the fact that im lonely. but im really not.. however... in a sense.. i AM. confusing isnt it? i suppose the idea of being lonely doesnt necessarily have to mean that im longing for a significant other or what not. i have that already, who btw is absolutely wonderful. sometimes i just want to run over to his apt and jump into his arms. so warm and comfy.. especially on these cool nights. but anyway, i dont know why im feeling alone right now. maybe its this empty apartment. knowing that my room mate is off gallivanting the night.. leaving me alone... when she is usually home wiht me. maybe im just jealous... or maybe im getting fed up with sharing our apartment that im actually displacing the problem. blargh, i dont know what it is.

im probably super stressed. yeah. thats it. and being by myself.. ALONE.. is a hard task. its nice to be home with someone after a long stressful day of studying, errands, etc etc. what i need is an unwinder. but everyone is stressed... so its hard to find one at the moment.

im trying to think positive here. but its so hard to. i know a lot of people who have it much harder than i do.. but this semester just doesnt seem right for me. my laziness has really caught up. and i cant seem to hold in any of the information im reading. its depressing. what happened to my study habits :( grades are important to me. everyone tells me to not worry so much about them. bleh. i think what theyve said has really sunken in. haha. my grades arent looking as good as i usually would like them to be.

im not feeling like myself right now. everything just feels so overwhelming.. and i cant hold back the tears anymore. i think i need a hug.. someone to hug me and tell me that everything will be all right.

well i hope everyone treated their moms well this mother's day. this entry is pictureless... but i do have lovely pictures to share later.. of my mom and such.

i should try to sleep. ill count robotic pandas or something... thanks to ben for sending me TGUK's long good night MP3... hahah. i had that on repeat the whole time. doh!

suffocate my mind, tear at me from inside

2005-04-30T16:08:00.000-10:00

its been a hectic week. a week of stress and heartache. but in the end, my week finished off great.

aaron's bday was on the 24th.
jill's brother's gf gave birth that day too. :)

the 24th is definitely a day for us to celebrate. hehe. i cant wait to see jill's nephew. chee. shes an aunty! congrats :)

we went to sandy beach for aaron's bday. good fun. i didnt get burnt. hooray. we stayed in the shade for the majority of the time. i took a pan shot of that day.. i must say this was the worst pan shot ive ever done. hahaha. i wasnt trying really hard.. so i didnt line things up as well... plus i was kind of slouching in my chair. but anyhoo, i had a nice time with those folks. :)

i have one day of school left... chee. i turned in my work assessment portfolio. that thing was fookin' huge. i never realized how much i wrote in that class. well, finals are on the 10th and 12th for me.. bleh! i cant wait for these two weeks to be [POW] pau. =P

back to studying i go. whoooosh.

...then i defy you, stars

2005-04-25T12:53:00.000-10:00

ok kids, i havent updated in a while. but i just wanted to let you know that i WILL have an update asap. i got things up the yin yang... i need to finish my portfolio and study study... so when i get the time to load pictures and what not.. itll be a grand entry. but until then..... listen to the receiving end of sirens. its a good band. yup. (i think im just feelin a little too emo right now. hahahah.)

"well, do you trust me?!" "uhh yess...." "then juuuuuuuump!"

2005-04-17T23:07:00.000-10:00

ahh kiddies, im getting better at this bloggin-more-often deal. chee. i need to start taking more pictures though. but since i only have a point-and-shoot camera.. pictures will be as amateur-ish as they'll come :)

so my weekend was spent with my aunties. :) it was great to see them again. especially silly aunt noi. i never really realized how much i missed her until i spent time with her this afternoon/evening adn then when i had to say goodbye to her earlier tonight.

well lets see... saturday evening we had dinner at sun tak restaurant in kaimuki. there were sooo much GOOOOD food. my mom ordered a lot because she wanted to give the family a variety of dishes. a variety, mother... not the whole menu! doh! =P anyway, it was a fun night.. i did a three leaf clover thingy with my tongue. hahaha. disgusting.. very disgusting. hahaha. good times, nonetheless. it was funny to watch my mom try to do it.. yikes. hah! @_@

sunday morning i went with timmeh to sara's house. unfortunately i couldnt stay long because i told my aunty noi id meet with her to go to the beach... i felt pretty bad having to leave early >_< i really didnt want to drag tim out with me but he seemed willing enough to accompany me. well we got to my aunty's house and we had to wait around a bit because they werent ready yet. DOH! she told me on the phone that they were getting ready already @@ and my aunty noi couldnt wait any longer so she went early with aunt vena. ohhh well. we got down to hanauma bay by 2PM.. it was a greeeaaatt day to go to the beach :) soo glad i went. we saw lots of fishes, played some tag, piggy back raced, and chit chatted. funfun in the sun.

later in the evening my mom and i went to my aunty's house to have dinner. the last night i got to spend with my aunty noi. it was good times though. we sat around the table sharing stories of people choking, getting run over, and uhh.. yeahh... those aunties are crazy. haha. they also like to drink a lot! so thats where i got it from... hahahaha nahhhhhh! those days are over.... (or so we all think?)

my aunty noi and i spent some alone time after the dinner. it was nice talking with her.. adn reminiscing on all the good times in cali.

she also filled me in on some very sad and disappointing (on my uncle's part..) news about one of my aunties. :( sometimes things look soo good on the outside.. but the inside....... its bad news bear. its so scary that the person you've trusted completely.. and devoted your whole life to can just let you down in an instant. this is the reason why i couldnt let myself commit to someone.. the fear of betrayal is just too much. ive seen it happen three times already. trust is a very scary thing. and it is very hard to come by this day and age because of all the temptation out there. how can anyone trust anybody else anymore?

"did you just eat a handful of animal parts?"

2005-04-16T14:22:00.000-10:00

this has been a good week :)

last night i went to my aunty's house to eat dinner with three other aunties that flew in. haha. ahhh. it was so much fun. we talked, ate, and sang our hearts out :) it was SOOO good seeing my aunt noi.. i havent seen her since she last visited in 2001. when i lived in cali, i used to see her practically everyday... she'd let me watch ren and stimpy, took my bro and i to the beach to fish, and we'd listen to nirvana in her little apartment. she was the coolest aunty evverrr. "you.. FOOOOOOOOL!" when i saw her come into the house, i practically jumped on her and wanted to cry. she is teh awesome :) i still have the little christmas dog she gave me when i was in second grade.. its on my bed at my apartment :) the sad thing is i dont remember his name.. O_o doh! but hes been through a lot. he even has memory scars.. hehe. she wont be staying long though.. sad :( hopefully i can go to the beach wtih her on sunday. id like to spend some time with just her.

i saw cats on thursday with teh timmmm and his parents. it was really neat :) at first i was a bit confused as to what the plot was.. until i realized that it was based on a book of poems by ts eliot. haha. doh. that made watching the show a lot better. its so wonderful to see all the kids that go to watch these things. nice to know that they're getting exposed to that kind of entertainment early.

i talked ot rick (my advisor) on tuesday. it looks like i will graduate in spr06 :) next semester is going to be pretty hectic for me... since ill be taking an ITE class.. and doing that independent research option. but i cant wait :) it should be fun. this semester was too laidback for my taste. i think i need to be stressing out to really feel productive in school. hah. i cant believe how fast time is going by... scary!!! but exciting all at the same time..

won't you take me home?

2005-04-09T20:03:00.000-10:00

FOOKIN' BLOGGER. I WROTE A LONG POST BUT IT HAD AN "INTERNAL ERROR" SO I LOST IT! RAWRRRRRRRR! ok.. heres the shortened version..

my dad came home the other day. he'll be visiting for 9 days. anyway, he's been stationed in japan for 1 year already.. just one more year and he'll be back for good. retirement is nearing. i never thought much about my own retirement. but from watching what my mom and dad are trying to deal with, financially.. i just might be considering setting up a side account. all my dad knows is the military. lacking a higher education and let alone skills for anything else will make it extremely difficult for him to find a job. and a job is what he'll need after retiring from the military. living in hawaii is expensive. a middle-class family cannot live on only one person bringing in income. well, we still have a couple years to figure out whatever.. and i know for sure that everything will work out. but its scary how time flies by...

today is thai new year's. i went to the songkran festival at kapiolani park with my mom, dad, his two sisters and my cousins. there were a whole lot of good food. especially the fried bananas and papaya salad. YUUUUUMMMMM. heehee. i had a lot of the bananas... there was a beauty pageant.. and of course the little thai girl won. there were also thai dancers and singers. the singing was awful.. i hate to say. but they should have found people who could actually sing.. or just forget live singers entirely. DOH! but anyway, despite the unorganization of the events, i had a good time.

my dad's sisters are coming this month. my aunty from france came in a week ago, tomorrow my aunty from chicago arrives, and another one from cali comes in on tuesday. yiiiiikes, ill say. they're loud.. so i see good times up ahead. hah.

someone to watch the world with

2005-04-06T09:13:00.000-10:00

so april fool's day wasn't just a day of pulling practical jokes on people.. it was lanceG's 21st BDAY! cheeeee. we celebrated on the third at jonN's garage. good good gooooood fun i must say. its nice to hang out with those high school buddies again :) things are still the same, yet they are different. different in a sense that we've matured (somewhat..). so i believe thats a good thing :) however, we all still hold some of that immature soul... as it is evident in our pictures. we were car models gone ~~wild~~ wrong. haha. for some reason the angle that arthur took the picture... my butt looked humongous. hahaha. thats grosssss mannn.

last night tim and i had a mini adventure to india. we saw beautiful art of what looks to be a kama sutra tease. just their position was like "uh oh, theyre gonna doooo itttt." we listened to Indian songs, watched indian dancing.. i can see where christina alguilera stole all her moves. if you think U.S.'s music videos are raunchy, India's is just as bad. or maybe not.. maybe it seemed really raunchy because it wasnt the kind of music video i expected. we also ate indian food. hehe. it was pretty yummy. nothing like what ben stiller had in along came polly.. although i do want to try what they were eating... looked like fun (minus the sweating and the stomach noises..). so after our trip to india, we wanted to catch life aquatic at restaurant row. however, because of the time different in india, by the time we got back to his apt.. we missed the showing by 20 mins. sad.

we're going to BOSTON and NEW YORK! cheeee. tim just bought his ticket last night. so the three of us are going to cause a ruckus up in the east coast with cherrrrriii. its going to be awesome :)

okay.. i should stop procrastinating... its HOMEWORK TIME!

the case of the walking condom

2005-04-03T13:52:00.000-10:00

im extremely puzzled by what has happened at my apartment within these couple months.

so the story begins on valentines day during which the university of hawaii held a condom fair at campus center. kyle, jill, and i roamed down the walkway where we were approached by middle-aged men with their condoms and brochures promoting safe sex. between the three of us, we had quite the collection. not knowing exactly what i should do with all of the condoms, i threw them in my lunch bag. when the day ended, i got home to my apartment and placed my lunch bag on the little table. weeks went by, i totally forgot that i had that bag of condoms in the middle of the living room. so i grabbed the bag.. but lo' and behold the condoms were GONE! where did they all go!? i recently gathered up enough nerves to ask if my room mate had any thing to do with my missing condoms. however she had no idea where they went. she didnt even know i had them in that bag. hah!

condoms cant just get up and walk away... or can they..........

**(you might have noticed i drew in an extra finger..... STFU!)**

i saw sin city on friday. chhheeee. it was fookin awesome. BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE EVERYWHEREEEEEEEEEEEEe.

elijah wood scared me :( and benicio del toro was fat :( sad.... but theyre still awesome. i was also disappointed because josh hartnett wasnt in much of it. bleh. but you know what..? the movie was INCREDIBLE. uh huh.

if i fall will you catch me?

2005-03-30T18:06:00.000-10:00

look at my brother... awww... JUNIOR PROM! hes such a big boy now. not like the little brother that ive known. hes so much bigger than me :( sad...
theresa is a doll.

tessie is awesome. shes gotten darker... so she doesnt look so much like my daughter anymore. haha @_@

its wednesday already! my spring break will come to an end real soon... that means itll be back to my routine..
today was swell :) i got to chill with one of my best high school bud, JonN. chee. just like old times.

short post.. because i felt like it!

oh. i like aqualung. to the max, yo!

Can't Get You Out of My Mind
Aqualung

A kiss is not just a kiss
A smile is more than a smile
Maybe we get together
Maybe forever
Maybe just for a while

I've seen the look in your eye
I've seen you wondering why
There's a centre of gravity
Brings you near to me
Nearer all the time

And I'm hypnotised
Petrified
Every time you walk by
And I can't get you
Out of my....

Thought you'd never be mine
I thought I was wasting my time
Darling, every day I think of you
I can't believe it's true
That you're here by my side

And I'm petrified
Hypnotized
Every time you walk by
And I'm hypnotized
Petrified
Every time you walk by
And I can't get you
Out of my
Mind

testing the strong ones

2005-03-29T14:03:00.000-10:00

i hope everyone had a good easter weekend. :)

mine sure was heart wrenching.. and its still in high effect. the uncertainty of the future is killing me. how can something that felt so right... just disappear? anxiety and frustration is all i can muster up to describe what i'm feeling... but its not all. theres just too many emotions running through my mind.. my body. i cant function. but with the reassurance i had last night, my mind is at ease.. a little. im still scared, however. scared of losing something that changed my life. scared of losing something that made me feel complete as a person. scared of losing something i care deeply and whole-heartedly about.

i never saw myself as a weak person. i dont like to being weak. nor do i like being vulnerable. but right now... that is what i am. weak and vulnerable. jsut those few heartbreaking words.. could destroy me.

i want to give whatever is needed.. to help this unknown problem. a break may be the right thing.. well, not a break, but long extended space. however, i cant do this "cut-and-dry" space deal.. at least a little attention. the whole day i was starving for attention. i dont consider myself a needy person..but at this point, this point of uncertainty and being scared of losing.. im ~~a bit~~ in need.

im extremely glad i got to clarify some things the other night. now its all about being patient, staying strong, and hoping for the best. i trust what we have.

well, i have a wonderful room mate to give me hugs :) booyyy, did i need one. do YOU have an awesome [jen]kneefur like me??? i think NOT. theres only one kneefur out there.. and i have her.

on a better note...

IM GOING TO BOSTON! with the ever-so-wonderful jilly beans :) its going to be awesome.. cheri is too great to house us. i cant WAIT to go to NYC also. :) ahhh.. exciting. hehe :)

oh.. and i also bought a new laptop.. hehe. the dell inspiron700m. its pretty... hehehe. i spent over one thousand dollars in a week. HAH. high rollin?? i think not. im POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR now. *cry

ive been watching your world from afar..

2005-03-23T18:04:00.000-10:00

these past couple days id start writing in my blog, then i'd delete the whole thing. i never get the motivation to complete it. so i've been wondering why i didnt want to write.. and i think its because i find my blogs to be repetitive. thats pretty much how my daily life is. its the same-old-thing. writing about it is such a bore... i cant imagine you all reading it. but since i dont write in my blog for weeks at a time now, theres bound to have something exciting.. and that is why you see this entry today. (also because an anonymous ant and mr. min mo questioned my not-quite-hiatus)

this past friday i had a volunteer project for the friends of family club. we were suppose to set up a mini fair for HUGS (help, undestanding, group support) for the terminally ill children. it was a whooolllee lot of fun :) i was assigned face painting with nick.. but i ended up doing arts and crafts and easter egg making. it was kind of depressing to see all these children either in wheel chairs, body braces, or just sickly looking.. but once they began playing like any other child (because they ARE like every other child!) i felt more relaxed and it was an absolute JOY to see them having fun.

what was a HUGE compliment (and EGO BOOSTER) was when steve (the head of HUGS) pulled me aside and asked if i wanted to intern there. woohoo. he said i seemed to fit right in with their staff :) that made me feel sooo gooood. hehe. but i told him i'd keep it in mind, so he gave me some papers and what not. i really dont know if i could (emotionally) handle working there. they arent a hospice.. so they do lose patients quite often. and i dont know how id be able to deal with that. i know for sure i'd get close with the kids i work with. also, its a FAMILY oriented support group, getting close to the whole family isnt uncommon. oh well, we'll see. i still have time to think about my senior internship.

working there was a great way to start off to spring break :) after stressing the last few weeks, i can finally be a bum again! chee. on saturday i watched the ring2 with jilly, kyle, my mom and brother. it was good fun. the movie wasnt as scary... it had its jumpy parts, but that was pretty much it. the story was pretty neat.. naomi watts is soo purrtty. what movie i REALLY REALLY want to see is sin city. hehehe. AN ALL STAR.. BEAUTIFUL cast. i CANT WAIT. i will watch it the day it comes out. yup. nothing can stop meeee! (at least i hope so...)

on monday, teh timmeh adn i went to kaaawa. i havent gone to the beach since kyle's bday in november! crazy long... anyway, it was goooood fun :) it reminded me of how much fun i used to have.. and how much i really miss it. hehe. i need to start studying on teh beach again...

that night i went to Pam's BBQ. we played the guy game.... which was foooookin' hilarious, mannnnn. lets just say... i did NOT want to see those girls take their tops off. GET THE RIGHT ANSWER, DAMNIT! i PWN3D those guys in balls-in (a mini game where each player has a goal and you have to get the ball into goals but your own). those bastards had ot gang bang me in order to win. so unfair! we were laughing so hard... it was good times, my friends. havent had that much fun wtih those pals in a while :)

we made six months yesterday. :) thats half a year, yo! craaazzyy. i cant believe how lucky i am to have found someone who i absolutely adore. quite a feelin, i'll say :)

dont eat at antonio's. the waiters there SUCK.

i want a coin-operated boy

2005-02-26T13:34:00.000-10:00

OMFG. i wrote a loooonnnngggggggggg post.. and it didnt POST! WTF!!! BLARGH. it brought me to an error page... so i push back.. and my post... WAS GONEEEEEEEEEEEEEe. rrraaawwwrrrr. i want to eat blogger!

i have a headache.. adn i dont feel like rewriting everything i posted.. so im just going to outline what i had.

I. 2-23-05 was Keri's last day at ORLS.
II. Shopping at Pearl Ridge.
1. Watching me dip my quesadilla into hot sauce looked fun (so says my mom)
2. Bumped into Ryne
a. reminisced about songfest
b. caught up to date with whats been going on
III. House of Flying Daggers at dollar theater with Tim and Kyle
1. Imagery was fabulous
2. Story wasnt up to my par
IV. Exams
1. Finished open notes econ exam.
2. Three more to go
a. two on tuesday
b. one next week tuesday
V. Coin-Operated Boy by the Dresden Dolls

i hear goodnight

2005-02-20T23:53:00.000-10:00

a lot happened since the last time i posted. the days are just getting busier and busier.. and theyre flying by faster with each day that passes. and because of that, im losing my sense of time.

well, on the 15th, jill, kyle, tim, and i caught the my chemical romance show at pipeline. it was good fun. :) i got to jump on brandon in the pit again. yeehaw. but anyway, i think im getting too old for all that shows/concerts shiiiet. i thought i was going to break my back @_@ and i got tired a lot faster than i used to before. or maybe its not me getting old.. but the idea of going to shows and things is old. when i go, its like high school all over again. its not a bad thing.. but i dont know. its a weird feeling.

on wednesday, i found out my mouse arwen died. (sorry i forgot to tell you, jill.) my mom buried her in the backyard under the pretty white flowers... she and my brother made a tombstone for her. so we can pay our respects and leave her little cubes of cheese... she'd like that.

thursday, tim and i went on a date :) we havent done that in a while.. so it was really nice. you can never go wrong with thai food. soemtimes i wonder if he really likes it or he just wants to eat it because i really like it. haha. @_@ oh well, im glad we went.

i had no work on friday :) so i spent my time wandering around campus.. hung out with jill and jon at CC. visited corey at hamilton library. then pestered timmeh at his job. heehaw. those boys get paid for doing nothing! >_< well, they get paid to go on myspace. such whores! <3 then at 3, i had a meeting for the friends of family club. which was real fun, btw. im going to be chair for socials... yeehaw. i should get everyone to join! so my socials will be pack full of fun people. harhar. i think jill is up for it... right!? =P

then yesterday was sara, sheri, and jason's party. it was good fun :) although all we did was play halo2 and poker.. hehe. good times. i got my ass served in halo. i havent played games in a hell of a long time. i dont really want to be sucked into that again.

well.. this week starts off midterms for me. i got one on thursday, two next tuesday, and then another one the following tuesday. hooray for me... i better start going to my gender psych class now. >_< im way behind :( so sad.

"you two are so cute i want to put you both in a box" <3

2005-02-12T13:57:00.000-10:00

bleh. so its been a while since i wrote in this.. yet again >_< i keep thinking that i want to blog more, but i never do. well, its partially due to teh fact that i dont come online as often. signing on nowadays is for email, small chit chats on AIM, and news.

marge left on the 10th to cali :( her friends threw her a dinner party at this italian restaurant in waikiki. very good fun. i hope she enjoyed it.

im so excited for her. just graduated and now moving to another state.. i want to do that! cali would be an awesome place to go.. but new york will be even grand-er. hehe =P ive been looking into a teaching-in-japan program (much like the JET prog.. but somewhat different). that might be fun too... but we'll see. im not sure if i'll be ready to leave. i would leave if i could pack teh timmeh and jilly beans in my suitcase. har.

so im in a national honor society.. ive just been branded "DORK". hooray. i havent been in one of these things since the national junior honor society in intermediate school. well anyway, phi u is fun. its for famR and apdm majors. i cant wait to start the service projects... im chair person for a couple of the activities already. heehee. the dork in me is reawakening. XP

the other night i went to sara's karaoke shin-dig. it was good fun. :) i want to plan another one with my friends. itll be like old times. listening to sara and sheri sing all those ghetto music really brought back a lot of memories. haha @_@ and now i HAVE to watch rent. so i know what timmeh is always singing about. so awesome <3 cheesy 80's music is the most fun to sing. "dooo youuu reaallyy want to huurrrrt meeeeeeeeeeee." haha. we should make an 80s karaoke party.. where everyone dress in 80s clothing and we sing cheesy songs all night. haha. fun. someone plan it for me? doh ><

well, VD is coming up. hope you all have a good one. i got tootsie pops for my kids at work. heeeee. <3

"Love is so delicate, you can't afford to risk it on fake holiday." -- Emma Forrest

it feels good to know you

2005-01-29T19:53:00.000-10:00

well since C.A. requested me to update... here it is! hhehe :)

school has been ok. four day weekends arent as great as i thought they would be... sure i have a lot of time to spend with friends and to just relax.. but once i do go back to school for two days out of the week... i'm nto in.. "school mode". its been three weeks back to school already.. but it hasnt really hit me yet. hah. my study habits for this semester isnt lookin so great.

this month was full of birthdays...

jan19: jason ramos! woo. the old high school gang had dinner at jade garden in waipio. which was really awesome. we witnessed three guys running out of the restaurant to avoid paying for the meal. so bad! the restaurant workers ran out to chase them. it was WILD, yo!

jan23: ANT DAY! that old fut... we went to momomo on waialae.. the portions were crazy small. doh! i liked their creme brule.. well, i hope ant liked his super delux(e) poker set. harhar.

jan25: shening! i felt bad for not contacting her on her bday.. but im sure shes having a ball up in cali anyway. probably forgot all about me.. @@

jan25: mr. jason cleHO! i havent talked ot that bugger in a long time.. i miss chattin with that lame pussy-hater. anyway, tim and his friends "surprised" him a couple nights ago. that was pretty fun... even though i ended up falling asleep on my notes. doh.

jan26: JILLY BEEEAAANNNNSSS! cheeeee. i hope you had a happy bday, woman! you deserve the absolute bessssssstttt. i <333333333 YOOOH. =P

back to school

2005-01-15T19:34:00.000-10:00

(**aunt's bday dinner at happy days**)

its been one week since we've been back to school. after a couple days of sitting in classes and begging professors through email for over ride codes... i got the schedule i wanted :) i have four classes on tuesday and thursday. thats crazy amounts of SCHOOL in two days of the week. well, its kinda nice to have a four day weekend. i'll just be bustin mad asssss on those days. finals week is going to SUCK. yup. but i shouldn't worry about that now.

FamR444 Contemporary Family Issues - this is my WI and E course. its gonna be tough.. but i feel pretty good about this class. shawntell is in this class, along with a few other famR major students that i'm acquainted to. theres going to be a lot of writing.. so i'll have to brush up on my writing skills @_@

Psy341 Social Development of Children - i got this class from multiple emails asking for an over ride. dr maynard was really nice to have let me in her class... and a bunch of other students also. there are people sitting in the AISLES. its crowded to the MAX in that class.. anyway, it should be pretty fun. it may be a lot of reviewing.. because i took developmental psych AND childhood development. the prof is a LOT younger than i imagined. its kind of intimidating in some ways..

Psy202 Gender Psychology - CRAZY. i feel really uncomfortable sitting in this class. not only is it a psych course, but its also a WOMEN'S STUDIES course. WTF. when im in that class, i get a tad uncomfortable by the "openness" of the students. "i like women. i REALLY like women." err... OKAY. the book our prof got us reading seems to assume we're having a gender identity crisis. i had no idea this class was going to be about THAT. @@

FamR363 Consumer Economics - BLAH. economics is just not my field of interest... but i have to suck it up.. and just get it over with. the prof is kinda kooky.. and has a really thick african accent... itll make learning econ twice as hard. yay for me. im glad denise is in my class though. we can give each other weird looks when our professor acts like a monkey. seriously.

work has been crazy. the kids are just offfff the wall. and the lack of staff is not helping. i want to find another job.. but im not sure if i will. everytime i think of getting another job, i think about the hours that i could be studying instead. well, we'll see. if my MWF really arent productive.. i'll possibly get another job.

well, other than my wack school sched and my crazy kids at work, life has been really good. i have wonderful friends and a wonderful timmeh that just make everything fabulous. :)

do me in a double knot

2005-01-06T20:50:00.000-10:00

it feels so good to be back to work. :) i feel much more productive when im doing something. im a busy girl. (well... i like to be busy. shiet, i wanna BUSTLE!) if i'm not doing something, i'd go absolutely nuts. my mind will shut down and never want to run again. i gotta keep it running. however, it IS a nice feeling when you have days that you have absolutely nothing to do. i just can't have too many of those kinds of days... days of being bored and ALONE. hmm, when i was alone, i spent the majority of the time reading. its wonderful that i finally got the time to read what i want to read.. instead of those damn text books. anyhooters, work.. its so awesome being able to be back into the groove of it. its nice when people call you "assistant director." HAR! it makes me want to demand for MORE $$$. haha.. =P

i might actually get teh schedule i hoped for! the prof for psy341 will be giving me an override, that way i can drop abnormal psych (and i wont be late for work! chee.) if i can get famR444... i'll be able to drop my [ONE and ONLY] MWF class, which is old age. so i'll have four classes on TR.. like planned. i just have to cross my fingers for 444... I NEED THAT CLASS. RAWR. but maybe i wont drop old age.. and have five classes. bah. we'll see, we'll see... it depends on how hard i wanna bust ass next semester. fall '04 practically killed me.. so i'm not too sure if i want to do that again..

my phone was dead the whole day. horrible. just horrible.

we gonna party like its 1999

2005-01-02T20:04:00.000-10:00

happy 2005 :)

**dinner at my aunty's newly renovated house in portlock. bbeeaauutttiiiffuuuulll house, i must say.

**new year's eve pictures.

and to begin this new year... ive made a new layout. HAH! whos the dork!? yes, its me. @_@ anyway, its really simple. nothing too flashy or (html) complicated. hopefully its aesthetically pleasing.

tomorrow should be fun.

this is your life and its ending one minute at a time

2004-12-30T14:18:00.000-10:00

ahh, yes. i have been neglecting my blog. what happened to a post a day? heck, what happened to the few posts a day like old times? its not that i have nothing worth recording.. worth remembering. because i do.. every minute ive spent is worth remembering. but the answer to why ive neglected bloggin is... ive been lazy. the internet is not the same for me anymore. my addiction has withered. lately i've just been coming online to check my emails, catch up on news, and chat (for the most part). my need to blog is not so important anymore. but i think that should change. i think i should blog more. i want to blog more..

well christmas has come and gone. i hope everyone had a wonderful christmas.. :) i sure did. nothing beats spending time with friends and family. to be with everyone during this time is a great feeling. however, the presents that ive given to everyone has depressed my bank account. le sigh.

i cant believe its going to be 2005 soon.. guess what i did today!? i read old blog entries of 2004.. hahaha. im a dork! stfu! mannnn. thats why i want to blog more. that wayi can read back like this... so lets see... what did i say last year:

[[Wednesday, December 31, 2003]]

happy new years eve.

for some reason im not that excited. this holiday season didnt really phase me.

anyway, 2004... new years are always great. we get to "start over." and every year i always say that.. i dont think ive ever did start over. i dont think i can ever start over.. so ive come to realize that i must accept and go on. i need to learn to let go. let go of people, the past, and expectations.

2003 was.. a good year. there were a lot of ups and a lot of downs. a lot of studying and a lot of partying. ive met so many great people, yet ive lost touch with even greater people. but people come and go. this is the game of life.

:::..BEGIN TRANSMISSION..:::

MISSION:RESOLUTION 04

CODENAME:PANDATRON.
Your Mission Is To Fullfill Each Objective In The New Year. You Have Until 31 DEC, 2004 At 23:59:59.
All Objectives Are Subject To Change Due To Mission Emergencies, Changes, Or When I Gawd Damn Feel Like It.

OBJECTIVE 1: Be Less Stubborn.
Details: You don't want to turn into your father.

OBJECTIVE 2: Don't Be Too Nice, Think Of Yourself, Make Yourself Happy.
Details: Sometimes being too considerate is not the best thing. You don't have to always try to please other people. The most important question is "Are you happy?"

OBJECTIVE 3: Let Go.
Details: Don't hold grudges, don't constantly compare your past to the present, don't compare the new people you've met with the past ones you've tried to forget. Let it all go. Don't let your expectations hold you back. Be carefree.

Have A Happy New Year. GOOD LUCK.

::..END TRANSMISSION..::

end of dec. 31, 2003

wow.. i was such a dork. HAHA. remember my 2002 resolution? it was a "letter to the people" hahahah. aiyahh. well this year i have nothing creative to throw out for my resolutions. did i even accomplish my '04 mission?

well, i know for sure my 2005 resolutions are:
1) complain less. i think my whining is beginning to irritate the fook out of me now. >_<
2) say whats on my mind instead of overanalyzing everything in my head where nothing would make sense anymore.

if anyone would like to suggest something that i should try to change about myself... lemme know. :) im pretty sure there are a lot of fixin' that needs to be done. @@

well this eve is a special one for me. i have someone important and special to me to greet the new year and hopefully to endure the whole year till the next.

i want to make a 2004 collage.. like the 2003 one i made last year. but im lazy... we'll see when i get around to doing one. =P

i'm dreamin' of a white christmas

2004-12-23T17:45:00.000-10:00

WINTER BREAK! WEEEEEE :) this semester was tough... but i survived because im a survivor. (destiny's child?) i got straight A's babbyyy. heehee [insert egotistical bragging remarks here]. well enough of that, finals week sure drained me.. it even drained my WALLET... because my car got fookin TOWED on tuesday (12/14). it was absolutely TOW-RIFFIC. uuuhhh huuuhh. $137 and a $45 parking ticket. DOLE ST. IS BAD! hmm, i guess ill do +/- highlights of the past week...

+ presents from parents at work! WOO!
- car got towed..
- TWO FINALS on THURS and TWO FINALS ON FRI. WTF?
+ derek gave me the OC season one..!!
+ shopping with ANT on friday (12/17)
+ sara's secret santa party. courtney was mine :) she gave me a cuuute chococat blanket and pillow. mmmeeeooowwww. i was sheri's secret santa.. thanks to mr HO for letting me know what she likes :)

+ SURF FEST: bumped into LOTS of PCHS kids there. joy, nicki, philamer, tina, malia, kristin, jon chow and more but i forget already! devyn lum was there also (OF COURSE). he's my awesome show dancin bud. but unfortunately i didnt hit the pit with him this time. i was a bit reluctant to go in at first but i figured it would be a waste not to... so i joined tim and his friend jen. flashing booty dancin' cracks are NOT fun. O_o tim kinda ditched us because his band was playin his songs. so jen and i just went deeper and deeper in the pit because we wanted to crowd surf.. i just kinda threw myself in there. harhar. and lo and behold, BRANDON was a few feet away from me. heehee. fookin awesome bumpin into him. he helped me up in the crowd twice. yay. last time i did that was the ataris.. and that was a LONG time ago. probably last year, i believe.

+ verbanos with timmeh.
+ marge, jie, stan, and sau's graduation :) well.. sau never marched.. that PUNK. but oh well.
+/- ANT's yellow banana republican bag that matched his clothes far too well... not sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing.
+/- shopppppppppping. also not sure if this was good or bad... its good because i got all my shoppin for people done :) bad... because im dirt poor now.
+ jon's christmas bash. got to see a few high school buddies. that was nice. we'll have to plan it better next time... haha. we forgot sooo much. good times good times.
- my brother :( so unappreciative. that boy needs a good slap. >_<
+ 3 MONTHS (12/22) oceanarium is pretty :) and mucho expensive.
+ honolulu city lights
+ timmeh's guitar playing :)
+ makin' dinner for the mom! can't wait till she comes home!

so tomorrow is christmas eve, everyone. have a funnnn and safe christmas :)

i'll never find a reason to hurt you

2004-12-12T16:01:00.000-10:00

arrrrgghhhhhhh! so my crazy weeks are OVER! now its finals... but im not too worried about them as much as i was about writing my papers. i think i did alright.. i just hope it was what my prof was looking for... i worked hard to the max, yo.

after all the papers and things, i got to roll around wiht timmeh. wee. hehe. we made a super tofu dinner and watched semi scrambled tv. O_o but rolling around is fun. i had an urge to just roll around CC on wednesday.. i think its because this semester worked me till i was ddrrryyy. ive short circuited and my brain has gone dead. maybe thats why im not too worried about finals.. its because i dont have the energy to even give a shiiiet. O_o

yesterday i accompanied ANT to his city bank/central pacific bank dinner. it sure was fun taking weirdo pictures and dancing the chicken dance. i havent danced the macarena in YEARS. good times good times. the last time i dressed up was last year when i took mum to the symphony for mother's day. dressing up for banquets and things were always so fun... yet so stressful! having to find a dress and someone to do your hair and makeup. it was crazy times. damn ant for not giving me flowers and a limo! it would have been high school all over again. since we did take those "professional" pictures. harhar. bummers that my scanner doesnt work... our pic is WACK!

we caught ocean's 12 after the dinner. awesome movie. but i dig the first one more. mhmm. everyone should go see it nonetheless. the cast if absolutely fabulous. (especially brad pitt.... heeheeeee)

well.. ONE MORE WEEK, my friends :) then party party PARTYYY! cheeeee =P

save a turkey, eat tofurkey!

2004-11-26T09:10:00.000-10:00

happy thanksgiving. i know its a day late, but its ok. i hope everyone had an awesome feast! hehe. my family sure did. but minus the turkey! :( a total bummer... its okay though.. we saved a turkey! hah!

i think thanksgiving is a perfect time for everyone to step outside their box and be thankful. we dont seem to ever have time to stop and thank someone. because of how our daily lives are so routine and "busy", we forget to appreciate the small things that we have and the things people do for us.

the picture with tessy and me is absolutly horrible. yet its so freaaakin hilarious. wtffff i look SO pregnant!!! this whole oofing thing has gone way out of control. HA hA!

well black friday has come and gone.. i didnt go shopping :( the ANT stood me up. :( :( :( hahaha. nahhhh. things happened and we didnt get to go. i was a bit disappointed.. and i did think about not answering my phone if he called.. but when he did call, i forgot about ignoring him and answered the phone. HA! ant, you sounded truly sorry on the phone.. so i forgive ya. youre just going to have to make it up one day. i still want to kick you though.. FOOKER.

i met up with the timmeh to go to the zoo.. we ended up NOT going to the zoo because it was "too hot". PSH! hehe it was really hot... my back was getting all sweaty again. @_@ we bought a spongebob watch and caught the movie at ward. it was really weird! i wanna ride the hasselhoff... hahaha. his boobs were so gross. (when the mechanically separated and then squeezed patrick and spongebob... YUP) we also caught national treasure.. which wasnt too bad. it was farfetched, but i thought it was neat. i wonder what those symbols stand for on the dollar bills now... maybe there is a treasure! anyhooters, we ended up spending the whole day and night together even though we only palnned to go to the zoo and take pictures with santa... which btw never happened. haha. but at least we got other stuff done, like getting jen her bday present. yay. it was nice spending time wtih him that day because i know in the next couple weeks, i wont have that kind of free time @_@

do you wanta, wanta fanta?

2004-11-21T10:24:00.000-10:00

kyle's 20th bday just passed. :) it was nice spending the day with the boys at north shore. like old times when we used to go beach every weekend, eh? anyway, the waves were craaaazzy big. it was fun watching those pros. well, we're assuming they were pros because they were dropping in like its nothing. they make it seem so easy! (not really..) i wanted to take pan shots but unfortunately my camera ran out of batteries. luckily i stole a shot of the bday boy and me while we walked on the beach. after the beach, i called up borders to make sure they had a copy of the office. its a british comedy series that jonT talks about ALL the time. seems like the kind of humor kyle was into, so i decided to buy it for him. :) timothy brought a jabong (sp??) with a red bow on it. heehaw. that was so fun. the lady at the theater laughed at him. hmm, oh yeah.. losing my train of thought. well after getting kyle his bday present i met up with him and his sister (and company @@) at D&B. it was entertaining... although we only played need for speed. i got smoked... :( but but but i was so ahead in the beginning! until i crashed and burn... three times. HAH! we caught the incredibles with the timmeh and min at 10PM. i LOVE that movie. its so awesome! :) its even better the second time around. well, i hope kyle had good fun on his bday. i sure had fun just spending time with him. so much funny conversations.. craaazzziness, i tell ya!

well to kind of back track my week.. on friday i finally recieved BATTLEFIELD BASEBALL! harharrr. i won it from Ebay for 10 dollars! TOUCHDOWN! the ant came over to watch it, and it was freeeeakin hilarious! its goooood stuff, everyone must coem to my house and watch! thanks ant for wanting to come down to watch it.. it was good fun!

so thursday was mabo tofu night! chee. it was fun cookin.. even though i just watched tim the majority of the time. ha! i did do the salad though!! it was a crazy tofu night.. mabo tofu and tofu salad.. tofu juice, tofu dessert... heehee.

on wednesday, i had a surprising phone call. :) jonN called me! LIKE WHOA! i missed that dude so much.. :( we used to be so close in high school... eh, this feels like deja vu.. im pretty sure i wrote an entry about him some time ago.. and posted those weird pics of us in our fake glasses. haha. that dude is still absolutely amazing. :) we hung out with each other for quite some time at ala moana.. just catchin up on old times. i cant wait for the semester to end so i can actually spend more time with him and my old friends from high school. it would be grrrrreat.

so i finished my speech AND exam on wednesday.. the load was greatly lifted. but now i have lots of other projects to work on.

on tuesday, the timmeh came back from soCal. he brought back some neato things for me :) and i still have yet to see the pictures they all took. but anyway, im just really glad hes back. it was a long and stressful week. nice to have my unwinder back! harhar.

monday, i studied with jen and mr. porno boy jason cleHO. we ended up playing cards and i owned their butts in speed. but jen had the ultimate play of winning crazy 8s. she totally caught us off guard. haha. OH! JEN GOT INTO NURSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm SO proud of herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she's going to be the bestest nurse out there! woohoo!

OMFG, i have a 10pg proposal due on wednesday!

trust+attachment issues, vulnerability, afraid of losing someone, afraid of getting hurt, wanting to feel NORMAL. i think itll just take time to overcome all these feelings. well time and able hands to break down the wall. but it might be a little hard to break down, so maybe take bricks out one bit at a time? like jaoquin phoenix when he was stuck in that building in ladder 49. hah!

conserve water: shower with a friend

2004-11-14T17:07:00.000-10:00

this weekend i got an incredibles toy. ITS AWESOME to the MAX, yo!

unproductive weekend.. except for the five hours i spent at carisa's house... we didn't get much done.. :( oh well. i have to go to kinkos later today to make my transparencies.. thanks ANT for telling me AFTER we buy the tranparencies that cant be printed on. FOOK.

i have so much to do this week. im going crazy. ive been so delirious as of late.. i need to chillax. HA HA!

la-la-la labia baby, you got something for me?

2004-11-11T15:41:00.000-10:00

a place for my thought fragments.

Veteran's day. no school.. no work. and what do i do? my speech project. HOORAY. O_o

i got a lecture to go to with alan tonight at the art museum. chee.

mr timmeh is in sunny california. such a lucky bum... i miss the timmeh :( yes i do.

the OC is tonight but im going to miss it! :( i'll have my mummm tape it for me. yup.

i woke up at 1030AM today. thats the latest ive woke up in a LONG time.

yet im still tired.

i want some ice cream.

oh baby baby! baby baby!

2004-11-07T15:06:00.000-10:00

http://lifeaquatic.movies.go.com/splash.html
^ that is a MUST SEE. rawr!

i saw the incredibles with the ant on friday. IT WAS SO AWESOME. id watch it again for sure. i couldnt stop laughing when elastigirl turned into a parachute and a boat. omg. that was just unexpected. haha. i never cracked up like i did that day in theaters in a long time.

this weekend was suppose to be dedicated to writing my speech... but what did i do? NOTHING! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA. wonderful, eh? i still have to write my article critique! WTF am i doing!? :( i think knowing the amount of work that i have to do scares me.. so i dont even want to begin. i dont know where to begin! i think im going crazy.

i want to do everything but homework. i want to redesign my bathroom. its getting there though.. i just need to make stars and things. i want to get started on making christmas gifts, but i have no idea what im making this year. i want to drive and drive and drive.. chase the moon. just cruuuiissee. i remember days when my friend and i would just mindlessly drive around.. while listening to our favorite songs.. no real destination. those drives are always the best. we'd always find ourselves in the weirdest places. haha. good times good times. i want to sit at the beach. maybe i should do my hw tehre.. i want to be able to SLEEP. why cant i sleep!?

OH!! THE OC IS FOOKIN AWESOME. cheeee. im so stoked about the new season. heehaw. yes.. the OC...... my guilty pleasure. dunna nuh nuh naaa, dunna nuh nuh naaa, dunna nuh na nuh na nuhhh callliforniaaa! i want to marry ryan and seth. YES I WANT THEM BOTHHH! whats best about the OC is that their lives have nothing to do with ours! HA HA! i cant wait for the next ep....

i WANT:

complete FIRST SEASON! omgomgomgomg. hahahaa

tycho's posters! i want to litter my walls with them.

I LIKE IT.

oi.. this entry was just pure insanity.

naked in the city again

2004-11-02T22:34:00.000-10:00

monday, tuesday, and now wednesday.. this five day weekend was well needed.. but i cant help to feel that i shouldnt be enjoying this free time because of what has happened. the flood at UH damaged so many buildings, books, research, equipment, etc etc etc. it is really unbelievable... i cant imagine what the people who are directly related to the things damaged must feel. the thought of having years of research or rare and important documents or houses all destroyed by flood water is just heart breaking. its scary how mother nature can ruin lives just like that.

so i hope everyone went out to vote today. yes, i hope everyone is doing their civic duty.. because im sure not. i admire those who can keep up wtih all the politics and have the patience to even read about all the issues. my dad gives me a lot of crap about not voting.. but honestly, i didnt want to vote. i dont like bush nor do i like kerry. voting would be pointless and a waste of time on my part. if anything, id vote for VP Edwards.. just because he seems like he has a good head on his shoulders. well, im pretty anxious to see who does win this race. it seems like it would be a close race... but i have a feeling bush is going to win. only because hes got the connections. mhmm.

hope everyone had a safe and fun holla!ween. harhar.

i made my red riding hood cloak thingy that afternoon. i was getting so frustrated because i didnt know how id make it. i spent hours fussing with the fabric. then my brother had the most awesome idea of using his jacket. his jacket is quite unique... the middle of the hood unzips halfway down the center, so there are two flaps hanging. anyway, it shows the template for a hood, and all i did was trace and hand sewed the darn thing. i finished sewing it in less than an hour. haha! if only i thought of using my brother's jacket as a template sooner. bah. anyway, that night was good fun. mr timothy was the wolf.. dressed up in a granny costume. hahaha. it sure was interesting. sheri did an awesome job making his little wolf ears and tail. hmm, there are a lot of crazy people at waikiki. mhmm. a lot of ass too. harhar. someone really should have used my douche bag costume idea. (wear a bag with a sign "douche" and act like an ass to everyone. then people would say, "what a fookin' douche bag". HA HA!) ooh, i bumped into my piano instructor. she was decked out in a frodo outfit (see picture ^). very neat.

i dont work on thursday and friday. =/ if school's cancelled for those days also.. i dont know what im going to do with myself. haha. whats life without school and work!? heavens, i cant imagine! nah.... i'll figure something out ;)

who needs SLEEP!?

2004-10-30T13:46:00.000-10:00

i do. unfortunately i can't seem to get any.

the days are going by so fast. i cant believe november is around the corner. the semester is closing in.. lots and lots of papers need to be ~~done~~ started on. @@ but theres no motivation to even pick up a pencil. i regret taking five courses this semester. its just too much.. even for me. at least i think ive found some sort of balance between school, work, and a social life.. but lately ive been feeling my equilibrium is a bit off. i blame the stressors.. all this undue stress. i have ot learn how to let go. not everything has to be perfect, or done perfectly. i need to CHILLAX. haha. what a dumb word.

this past week was pretty much pure laziness (towards school work, anyway). however, i did study on wednesday with the rad roomie, jen. we also had a lot of fun meandering at walmart. on tuesday night tim and i cooked up some noodles. well, i didnt do much cooking. =P dont you just love people who cook for you, or even attempt to. haha. i caught the calamari wrestler at dole with jilly beans and the ant. the ONE HIFF film i watched :( i wish i had time to see more of them. but oh well.. theres always next year.

work was wonderful this week. although the kids were pretty rambunctious, i had a lot of fun. we did a lot of halloween crafts:

yeahh... always a good time. :) that reminds me... i need to write up the snack calendar! doh! >_<

Holy Crap, Lions! Tour

2004-10-23T15:55:00.000-10:00

midterm week is OVER! chee :) sorry to everyone ive neglected this past week... i was so STRESSED that i didn't want to talk to many people. i think i give myself unnecessary stress. yeah i did have three midterms.. but it wasnt TOO hard.. i think i could have handled the week a bit better. ah.. >_< but im just uber glad that its POW! pau =P now that its over i can be a bum with all my fellow bums. heeeeee.

work is great but at the same time.. its not so great :( justin isnt making things easier. when we hired him, it was like bringing in another child to look after instead. don't get me wrong.. justin is a really awesome guy.. thats why i told him about working there. but as an ASC leader, hes causing more trouble than the kids. on wednesday, its just lacey, justin, and me. justin was suppose to watch the older kids outside, while lacey and i took care of the young ones indoors. one of the parents of the older kids complained to our boss that theres lack of supervision outside >_< and its TRUE! valerie, one of our third graders, came crying into the MPR (multi-purpose room). oen of the fourth graders, arsha, was hitting her with this paper thing he made. she had really red, long, raised marks on her arms. i asked her what did mr. justin do about it and she said nothing. O_o i thought maybe he didn't see, but she said he saw but didnt do anything about it. OMFG. WTF is he doing out there. i had to call in arsha to do my own scolding, which justin should have done himself. i can't imagine him teaching. he'll have no classroom control whatsoever.

well since we got that complaint, the principal wants to schedule a meeting on TUESDAY for us. just great. justin doesnt work on tuesdays. and hes the one who should be hearing what delude has to say. i guess the only reason why im really upset is because i feel that its my responsibility to keep everyone in line. after all, im the one who sets the schedule up and delegate the tasks. i guess i have to be firm with justin.. make sure he sticks to the schedule and know the rules. after hearing what delude has to tell us on tuesday, justin will definitely hear it from me. i think he got the hint that i was really pissed off at him on friday. i told him to take the k-2 group to the playground.. come to find out in the next 10 mins, he let all the kids play in the sprinklers. they were all SOAKED. dripping wet. WTF was he thinking >_< oh well, i just have to stay calm.. be cool. i shouldnt let things like this bother me. and i should just let delude handle the situation.. everything cant go my way. yeah.. if coworkers are gonna cause trouble, i should just let delude know and he can handle it.. mhmm... ok. gotta keep telling myself that. why do i always burden myself with petty problems?

well other than that, work is awesome. i never realized how much fun popsicle sticks are! we've made frames, stars, and flowers. hopefully delude approves of my paper plate mask activity.. and we'll be making masks, using the popsicle stick as the handle. if delude doesnt approve.. i think ill go crazy. i need to start lookin for another job soon. not just because of things not going my way.. but also because my schedule next semester might not let me work. :( its a real bummer because i'm definitely going to miss those kids. they're too awesome.. and i was looking forward to watch them grow. well, i still have time to decide what im going to do. i can possibly work for an hour - just make snacks, set up HW time and then leave for class @@

the other day shawntell and i were talking about 'jealousy'. when i think about it, ive never really had a reason to be jealous in a relationship. i usually say that i have a hard time trusting people, but not being jealous may be a big sign saying that i trust too easily. is that a good thing or a bad thing? mr timmeh was asking the other night if i was jealous of any of his gal pals. honestly, jealousy never struck me. i dont know if it should or not. is he subconciously implying that i shoudl be? oh well, he verbally reassured me that i dont have to be. but i was never so everything is all good, right? right.

the other night tim and i watched the grudge with my mom and brother. that movie wasnt scary at all. ~~only because i closed my eyes for teh majority of the movie.~~ im scared to even go under my covers :(

we're going to kick your ASS!

You tell me what you want and I'll tell you what you get.

2004-10-16T13:47:00.000-10:00

its teh weekend. @_@

its back to work for me once monday comes around. my two week break went by uber fast.. only because i have a wonderful person in my life to be a bum with. harhar. i love the little things.. like bringing lasagna for the 15 mins we have together before i have to run, helping me with my errands and school work, piggy-backing down the street on a skateboard, and being able to just relax with each other after (what seems to be) a long day. my mind is always so high strung.. that its nice to have someone to unwind with.

min pointed out something on friday that i didnt really realize. he said i finally found someone that i wasn't so skeptical with.. in a LONG time. when i heard him say that, it just clicked in my head. its true. i did find something that im not afraid of. im not worried about past experiences nor am i worried about the future. its all about the NOW, now. (now now. ha ha!)

my speech is on monday @@ so nervous! but im kinda glad im one of the firsts.. i can get it over with. then i can concentrate on cramming for my three midterms... im so behind! the fall semester is always teh worst. ok. its tiem for a nap and then its off to studying.

Kookie Monster!

2004-10-08T20:30:00.000-10:00

i love how everything is going right now. minus school. but its always good times when you bump into old pals at campus center. chee. i remember i had the biggest crush on kory in the 8th grade. harhar. it was so awesome to talk with him again :) he kinda looks like the guy from hoobastank with his hair and everything. mhmm =X

i have a lot of papers to write this weekend :( I'm glad that my famR352 essay is over and done with. i have so much other papers to worry about. hopefully i get an A on that 352 paper... i practically cited the whole thing. haha O_o well, i did a lot of sucking up to the prof. i emailed her a get well soon note and confirmation letters. haha... she did write back saying thanks for the "sweet notes". hahaha. GIVE ME AN A, WOMAN!!!

i bought a watch at fossil the other day! it took me a good few days to figure out what i wanted... in the end, anthony just picked something and i pretty much agreed on teh spot. now that wasnt too hard...

i dont like people who talk about themselves when i meet them for the first time. i mean, yes you should introduce yourself when you first meet someone by letting them know what you do, etc. but... what about the other person?! and talking only about him/herself seems so arrogant. i met this guy named chris through shawntell, and all he could talk about was his art and how hes an aspiring painter. the way he approached subjects and how he talked about himself made him pompous in my eyes. maybe its also because i have a bias towards the stereotypical artsy fartsy students. and he DEFINITELY is one of them. art is so subjective. i dont think people should be going to school for ART. i could go on forever.. but i must refrain.

its peanut butter jelly time!

its a green day!

2004-10-04T14:08:00.000-10:00

i'm free! for two weeks. @_@ i already miss those kids. what am i to do without work!? i cant study... that means ill be studying all day! i think id go crazy! but i do need to catch up... im so behind :( someone study with me? this week is going to be a crazy week of writing papers and making presentations. which is why im kinda glad i dont have work..

ive been listening to my old cds from high school. shiet.. i listened to too much emo. haha. so much whining and depressing lyrics. good tunes, though. i think all this high school reminiscing (sp?) started when i saw green day on TV recently. it sparked so many "fantasies" i had back in the day. HAHA. O_o i admit, hes a hottie "punk rocker". i still dig their music. even their new stuff. yeahhhh. im riding on teh mainstream cloud. cheehee. @_@ can someone shoot me in the foot?

this past week has been fun fun fun. im glad i got to have fun before i have to live the hermit life.

we'll feel the air with imagery that will last forever

2004-09-25T09:44:00.000-10:00

it has been one crazy week - a week of no sleep, papers, studying, and WORK WORK WORK. my speech was postponed for monday, and my speech exam is pushed to wednesday. chee. this weekend is another round of studying. however, my psych exam was never postponed :( it was mad hard, but i think ive done decent enough. theres always a curve... =D

work has been pretty darn hell-ish.. funny how its at a lutheran school. harhar. the principal has not been.. real fun.. as of late. hes banned so much from the older kids that i have no idea what to fookin do with them anymore. i guess its my job to create better activities, but these kids are "mature". i cant give them construction paper and pipe cleaners to make flowers. its not "cool" to them. so theyd just sit mindlessly.. or cause a lot of trouble. >_< i dont know how to deal with these big kids. :(

i never really considered myself needy, but i think ive finally figured out what i want. i want someone to hold me and never ever ever ever EVER let go. i want to feel someone close to me. thats just pretty darn needy to me. i think thats why when i get uh.. tipsy..? at ~~parties~~ get-togethers, i become really.. "needy". id need to be with someone, on someone, etc etc. i guess im not as self-reliant as i would like. but then again, i cant just hold myself. well, actually i could.. one day you'll find me in the corner of my room hugging myself, rocking back and forth.. uh oh. someone call teh psychward!

you could be from mars, i could be from venus. we would be together, lovers forever.

2004-09-18T10:49:00.000-10:00

alright. so i switched the lyrics a bit for the title. but anyhoo, all i've been listening to lately is air. HAHA. (the band) I remember watching virgin suicides in high school with a few gals at my old house. it was good times. i think the soundtrack made me love the movie even more. well, the garden state soundtrack is also on my current playlist, thanks to ANT. :)

friday night was sure fun :) mr. timmeh took me to watch the play at kennedy theater. how the b-52 cockroach learned to fly. it was an assignment for his theater class. and upon going there, i bumped into sheri, rachel, jillK, stevie girl, and MRS.ABE! ahahahhahaa. she was my old english teacher in high school. i was surprised she recognized me. she came up to me saying that she has my brother in her class. HAHA. boy did she have a lot to say about that disrespectful mofugga. anyway, the play was just too adorable. i think im too "haole" to understand a lot of the jokes.. but it was funny :) afterwards, we went to eat dinner and watched snatch at the apartment. i will never tire of that movie. love it.

i'm suppose to be studying.. my psych exam is on wednesday. :( along with my speech. CRY. i have no ideas to what im going to say... boohoo. i read four chapters in Red Queen. THAT BOOK IS ABSOLUTELY AWESOME. i couldn't put it down. the fact that its required reading just discourages me from reading em. but now that ive read it, i really enjoy it. if anyone has ever questioned about sex: why sex? why are there two sexes? how did sex evolve? everything and anything about sex, i suggest everyone to read it also.

oh. im sick. not so surprised...

be quiet in the library!

2004-09-14T20:11:00.000-10:00

hmmmmm... im at hamilton library. yahoo. i wonder when the last time i wrote an entry from here. well, im suppose to be doing my psychology lecture notes.. but.. there were just too many computers open! theyre distracting. i can hear them speak to me... "come to meeeeee. uuuuse meeeee. wriite in yourr blogggggerrrr!!" eee. kinda creepy, eh? i just got two more lectures to do.. i will finish them by tonight! I WILL! well, at the rate im going, i dont think itll happen. wahh. tear. cry. ok. im bored. my classes suck because theres just too much work. im scared to interview homeless people. and why the fook cant i find info on marriage customs in brazil!?

lunch was fun today. i ate with tim and my two coworkers, jon and erica. jon cracks me up... even though he's incessantly giving me trouble. that guy is nuts.

OKAY. homework time!

oh yeah. and i would like to let everyone know, im very upset.

i left my black pen at the apt. >_< now i have to write my headers in BLUE. RAWR.

say goodbye.. sunshine.. daylight.. 'cause its just another day

2004-09-11T13:37:00.000-10:00

i have great people in my life :)

i talked to my advisor yesterday. chee. i can graduate in fall '05. then aim for a master's degree perhaps in early childhood. its all too fast. im scared :( rick wants me to do honors O_o he sees the "potential" in me. but after showing me one of the thesis papers his student did, i was scared shitless. i dont have that kind of motivation.. nor the skill to do research like that.

speaking of research... i got lots of projects coming up. i think im going to go nuts. but hey.. at least im keeping busy :) instead of letting my mind wander.... riiight. my famR352 class project is going to be pretty interesting. angela and james will be working with me. hooray.. and to think i was going to do it alone @_@ hmm, i only met angela in that class. but from what it seems like, shes a great gal. we're going to do our proposal on the homeless in waikiki. i'm not sure if we're going ot make it any more specific like homeless children or what not.. but angela wants to stick with a broad topic.. oh well, we'll see.

i have another "activity" for my famR442 class.. telly is in my group of course. and two other people, craig and enda. our topic is marriage in brazil. we're hoping to find info on those amazonian tribes. that'll be nifty to the max. =D

i have to turn in my topic statement for famR332 on tuesday... i have no clue to what i wanna write about. theres so many ideas.. but i need one specific topic. i was thinking of doing something about television during early childhood correlating with attention deficit disorder. i should email stern @@

and last but not least i have my speech project. im sorta nervous about it.. but what the hell.. the grade isnt going to transfer.. >_< i hope that pompous idiot justin doesnt give me shit. every morning when i see him walk into the classroom, i just wanna punch him in the face. but annnyywwayyy.. i'll probably rant another time. i dont want to be put into a bitter mood just by thinking about him.

i met up wtih tim last night at ward borders. i needed to get out and do something. i didnt care what i did, i just didnt want to be at home.. so when tim invited me to read with him, i was soo ready for it. @_@ so anyway, we read how teh b52 cockroach learned to fly in the children's section. :) which btw, ill be seeing that play at kenn theater next friday. then afterwards we went to jimbo's to eat. last night was just so random.. we didnt really have a plan. so after eating, we went to starbucks to play chess. he said he'll turn me into the chess queen at my work. those kids always beat me! anyway, i pretty much got the hang of it.. and now i just need more practice. harhar. i got home around 1AM and went straight to my laptop to start on my outline.. however.. i ended up chit chatting with a friend.. who just broke things off with his gf. :( i think theres something in the air... seriously.

and the sky comes crashing down

2004-09-09T18:11:00.000-10:00

so i got what i "wanted." it hurts more than i thought it would. i guess its just because im actually hearing it from someone other than the voice in my head. yes, i dont know what i want. its not fair to anyone to drag on something thats just not there anymore... at least i dont think feelings are there anymore.. @_@ i couldnt hug back. i wont be able to look at him the same. i saw him at CC and my head felt like it swelled up. but WHY. this was all my doing. i just need to let go.. since it already seemed that i have a while ago.

so what do i want? i tried thinking about it.. but i thought about everything i wanted except for what i want in a relationship...

i want to take pictures again.
i want to be able to express myself like i used to.
i want to have the time to read what i want to read.
i want to do well this semester.
i want to see everyone close to me as much as possible.
i want to change ASC to more of a learning environment than just child care and homework help.
i want to be able to stand on my own two feet.

i talked to shawn for a while the other night. what he said to me got me thinking..
"youre too independent for your own good. you need to depend on guys sometimes." is that true? it probably is. shawn said a lot that was a major reality check for me.

i think all i really want is a companion. he was a companion in my eyes, but he saw more.. and wanted more. and it wasnt fair that while he was giving so much, i only gave so little. well, aaron suggested that its not that i just want a companion. he says i do want more, but im just not sure who i want to be with that i can give more to.

OH FOOKIN' WELL. another chapter has ended.. yet again. these chapters are always so short. kinda like me? HARHAR. O_o

ok. i need to work on my interview project. @_@ someone SAVE ME please :( take me to a movie. take me to a play. take me... anywhere but here. :(

"a pair of great tits"

2004-09-02T21:10:00.000-10:00

school has been.. ok. i dont think being back to school has really sunk in. i have yet to read the chapters for my classes.. and to BUY a text for my famR442 class. i think the only thing i look forward to everyday is seeing friends. XP thanks to kevin seamonkey, i was able to catch up with my psychology readings and lectures in TWO nights at hamilton library :)

speaking of psychology... my human sexuality course is quite entertaining. the first few lectures were a bore because she went over all the shit i learned in her social psych class last semester. we're getting into the good stuff now. harhar. did you know that theres a bird species called "tit"? throughout that lecture, i couldnt get my mind off the fact that the pair of great tits werent actually great, but they were rather small. yeah, i had tits on my mind. i love this course. "scientific smut reading" chee.

i have my first speech project in a couple weeks. theres three parts that i must complete.. since its a class at KCC, i shouldnt worry since the grade isnt transferring. but knowing me, id want it perfect anyway. more self-induced stress. fooook.

well things arent looking too good in the romance department. i dont know what i want. commitment is hard for me to do. well, i think it wont be so hard when i know for sure that someone is "the one" (to be commited to. not necessarily marriage. its a different ball game.) but i never know anything is for sure because im so indecisive with things like this. BAH.

i dont want to pull his strings.. but im just not sure if i want to be with him. things dont feel the same anymore. i know after a few months a relationship changes in some way, but i just dont think i feel the same for him anymore. i dunno whats wrong with me. its all me. and if i want things to work out, i have to fix ME first. but singledom is just so fun and carefree.

there was a study about girls and their dads. girls who had their dads around a lot in their childhood grew up being able to have healthy relationships with the opposite sex. monogamy. whereas girls who had dads that werent home often during childhood tended to have a hard time staying in one relationship for too long. promiscuity develops. im not saying im promiscuous, im just saying that in a way, im a part of the statistics. my dad was never really there for me when i was young, and i have a hard time commiting. researchers say its because the girls with dads in their childhood were able to observe the relationship of having a man a part of their life. i dunno if i fully agree with this, but its a possible explanation for some women.

ive been cooking more this semester! tonight i made meat jun with alan and yen. that was a lot of fun. it came out all righty. better than paying a crapload at yummy korean @_@

ACK. no pictures this post. ive been preoccupied lately.. havent been taking much pictures. i'll take this weekend. :) well, im mad tired. this ends my post. and i'll try not to neglect poor blog as much.

hello school.

2004-08-26T20:28:00.000-10:00

another semester... BLAH. this year is going to be real tough. :( malesa will have no life. not like she had one in the first place, but you get the idea. heres a rundown of my courses this sem:

sp151 @ KCC: pretty fun :) carisa is a real doll, i love chit chatting with her. derek is also in my class.. so it should be good times. the course itself doesnt seem too hard... but then again, she expects us to remember a lot from the text and make quite a few speeches @_@ it shouldnt be too bad... after being able to talk about blooming from my mom's vagina, i think i'll do all right :)

psy352: lieberman is a real geek. but her class should be all right. probably much like her social psych course i took last semester but just more depth in human sexuality. good fun.

famR352: FOOKIN' HARD. sounds like another Cheang class @_@ my prof is working on her doctoral degree.. and it doesnt seem like she knows what shes doing. Haha O_o theres going to be a lot of writing and field work for that class :( at least james and hercules are in it with me :)

famR332: STERN IS AWESOME. i love this man. hes so enthusiastic and in love iwth his work.. that it makes me smile everytime i listen to his lectures. hes an AWESOME prof. plus i love studying about childhood, so itll be neat to the max. its a writing intensive course... i dont think itll be too bad because working with kids already makes it easy for me to relate to the material he covers. oohh marge is in that class too! wee! she'll be graduating this december. im glad im able to share a class with her before she ventures into the "real" world. @_@

famR442: SHAWNTELLLLLL is in my class. chee! i was able to get an override from the prof so its alllll g. dale is SUPER laid back... and he seems realllllll dull. but i need a cruise class. @_@ the amount of writing i have this semester is CRAZY. i feel burnt out already. but anyway, about the marriage class, it should be fun.. we already had a group activity and things.. i love group work, so this class will definitely be worthwhile.

there has been so much happening lately, that i cant find time for myself. only reason why im writing here is because im procrastinating O_o work has been a real pain.. but im having fun.

OH. here are the long awaited pictures!

my bday pictures. jill was absolutely awesome for this whole thing :)

we had a little bbq at CA's house one night before school started :) it was great fun. it was awesome seeing JON N. again. that dude was one of my best-est friends in high school. absolutely rad.

i helped ant make an ant for his cap. that ant was super fly.
day time pan. shot
night time pan. shot
(REALLY bad. but OH FOOKIN WELL!)

ok. enough procrastination. I LOVE SCHOOL

Birthday Surprises

2004-08-17T08:47:00.000-10:00

holy mole-y! im exactly two decades old. its a really weird age to be at right now. im not "-teen" anymore. and yet, im not old enough to drink [legally] or rent a car. O_o oh well. im just another year older. another year wiser?? ;) harhar.

i have the most wonderful friend ever :) jilly beans did it AGAIN! she and derek planned a surprise party for me. chee. she told me she was coming to my place after i ate dinner with my family to drop off my present.. when 930pm came around, she told me she was outside, so i opened the patio door. i see jill... since i didnt have my glasses, i saw all these hazy round figures on the sidewalk. (they looked like gravestones O_o) and then faces began to focus and they started to move O_o AHH. haha. STEVIE girl, min, traci, scott, jill, jon, derek, jason, pam, CA, and travis were all standing there to surprise me :) TOO SWEET. i havent seen a lot of them in forever. like STEVIE girl. i havent seen her for over a year. it was so good seeing them all. my friends are too awesome. stevie boy and lance g came later in the night. jilly beans made me an awesome cake with a cuuute panda on it. :) shes the best. absolute best. thanks to everyone for being there and for the gifts :)

its been a busy busy week. and its only getting busier. i still have ot finish up the gift and make lesson plans galore. then school is going to start. WTF, eh. theres just not enough time :(

oh btw, a big congrats to ant-toe-knee :) finally into the REAL world. life after college.. i cant imagine @_@ his cap rocked my socks off. wurd. making it was super fun. thanks for letting me help ya, ant!

my mom and jill bought me more palahniuk books! chee. im so stoked. funny how jill and my mom bought the same thing. =P i cant wait to start reading invisible monsters. hey, i think i should start now. mwaha.

**pictures coming soon. once JILLY gives me the disk. rawr! hehe**

you no kiss my momma!

2004-08-13T22:34:00.000-10:00

i feel like blabbering. im tired and i just wanna BLABBER.. so here we go!

whats the difference between wanting and needing? i was trying to figure it out.. to need something is you cannot live without it. and want is... having to satisfy your.. NEED?! its to satisfy your urge? hunger? someone please tell me.

i dont need him. but i want him. so does that mean i need him? no. i can live without. yeah, i dont need him. is it because of my independence? i hate having to be dependent. having to need a person seems so weak.

my mom was telling me the other week that shes doesnt need my dad. shes never had that feeling towards him. will i ever feel it? im not sure if i want to.

i think our society tells us what we want or need. we are being manipulated by the mass media. social norms are even telling us things. like having a gf/bf, getting married, etc. do we need to get married? social norms says no, but if we want to have kids, yes. you dont want bastards, eh? we see something on tv, we want to buy it. so things are being burned into our brains. is it what we really want? what we really need? how can we know for sure?

ive been hanging out with my coworker far too much. @_@

i finished reading lullaby in a few days. this author was the one who wrote fight club. anyway, it was very hard to put down. i love books that make you think. this whole theme of wants and needs was just a very small portion. its not a very long story.. but theres just many little themes here and there. very inquisitive.

work has been really crazy. but im having a lot of fun :) i worked 20 hours at PacSea and 24 hours at the elementary school this week. im TIRED. kids say the cutest things! dylan and michelle were going back and forth saying:
you no kiss my momma!
you no kiss my lips!
you no kiss my nose!
you no kiss my cheek!
and then DYLAN says:
you no kiss my BOTO!
O_O aiyahhhhh.

i had a surprise phone call from derek today. he came back from his airforce thing. i thought he was going to be gone for two weeks. but he came back in less than a week! hah. he said they finished the mission early or something. see how much i pay attention..

im going to have a full saturday tomorrow. im finally going ot start teaching karolyn piano. :) i hope my lesson plan doesnt fall to shiet @_@

all work and no play makes malesa a dull girl

2004-08-07T22:33:00.000-10:00

exhaustion. the one word that says it all. ive been mad busy working working WORKING. my mom better pay me =| i spent a lot of my time helping the company.. i need to be compensated. [especially for my freakin saturdays!!!] rawr! but this is the last saturday that i will be working. yahoo. the two next saturdays i have doctor appts. and then the third sat. will be the saturday during the fall semester.. which means no more working with the mom. but i'm glad i freed up my saturdays again. i'll be teaching my neighbor piano :) her first lesson is on the 14th. wee. i already have the first lesson planned out. i just need to pick up books to go along with my plan. i wont be following their lesson order though. i wanted to find a better way to learn piano theory. the books usually start off with stupid easy stuff. i want to get straight to teh fun piano things. but of course i still have to give her an introduction to the staff and notes. so i'll be jumping around in the book. i made lots of little worksheets this week.. hehe so fun.

i started my ASC :) this year is pretty hectic since im the only coordinator now. [no more reina! CRY] BUT the good news is that we have a FULL staff. cheeee. my friend justin from my bio lab was hired and reina's friend lacey will start working with us on teh 23rd. i was told kirsten wasnt coming back this year, but she is. which is good.. we really need the help :) and of course jon and erica are back. i feel so stressed already. ive done so much and i have yet to make an inventory list of the snacks and plan a new schedule for when reina leaves.

well despite all the working.. i tried to squeeze in a couple outings here and there. my brother's bday was on the second. my aunty jew came over and made dinner for us. :) i cant believe my brother is 16 already! like whoa. hmm, i saw the manchurian candidate on monday night. it was pretty good. i think it could have been better. on tuesday night i went to see josh for his bday. i talked with my aunty for a while, which was real nice :) i went shopping at ala moana with the ant on thursday right after ASC. theres so many things that i would like to buy... but i have no money! :( i want my paychecks, gosh darnit! after all my bill payments today, my checking account has about 50 dollars left... O_o FOOKIN BILLS! KILL BILLS! hahahahaha...

oh yeah. people who ride with anthony might want to be careful. he doesnt watch out for pedestrians.. even at the red light. O_O

last night i went out with the derek to see shawntell's dance concert. it was an awesome performance. i was so excited seeing her on stage. shawn's a natural. yup. that girl is one awesome chick. i was lucky to have had her in my summer course group. anyway, we met up with her afterwards. it started to rain :( but i just had to take a picture with her while she was still in her get up. i look pretty strange in that picture with her O_o i was trying to avoid getting rain on my glasses @_@ haha doh! the derek and i then met up wtih min, traci, and jon to watch collateral at dole. it was all right. i actually liked manchurian candidate better. but as min said, theyre two different movies. the director seemed to try too hard to make it look "artistic" with the camera angles and dialogue. and i think this is the first movie where tom cruise dies. yes, HE DIES! O_o so friday night was fun :) it was nice to have spent some time with the derek before he leaves for his field training. two weeks @_@ yowzahs.

this next week shouldnt be too hectic. i wont be working with my mom everyday. hopefully the weather is nice so jill and i could hit the beach on monday. next week wednesday reina and i have to stay at ASC till 8PM @_@ itll just be the two head honchos. =D well, the long hours will make a big paycheck, so its all gooood. so actually.. next week will be hectic O_o i have a lot of other things (besides work) that need to be done. >_<

tomorrow im going to go shopping with the mom :) anthony gave me the friends and family discount thing for gap, so my mom is making me take her there @_@ i really wish i had the money to go splurging... bah!

oh oh. its time for my weekly horoscope! haha O_o

Things are looking good for you, with the Sun in your sign and Mars taking you to the highest heights. You have verve, charisma, and determination. But sadly, Mercury is going to turn retrograde on Tuesday, and this will delay a few of your best intentions - at least as far as your financial payments are concerned. There could be a computer snarl up or a data error, so check pay slips and bank statements. Mars then moves into Virgo on Tuesday, so it is spicing up your financial situation. You want more, and are willing to do more to have more, but may have to wait for the results. So don't let any time delays put you off; keep on working at your wealth strategy. The Sun trines Pluto on Thursday, and this could add intensity to your love life. One person could bring out some very powerful emotions, so do be warned. Friday is more carefree, as Venus aspects Uranus. You may want to keep one affair secret, and would prefer to take them home rather than show this person to your friends just yet. You have many good reasons why you want to keep them to yourself. Saturday is very nice for being with anybody and everybody.

wonder buns

2004-08-01T15:06:00.000-10:00

not much has been happening as of late. all ive been doing is work work work. the past week (monday-saturday) i was working full time at my mom's company. i was in charge of the cash register and taking orders over the phone. on top of that i did janitorial work. WTF,eh. i also had to make 462 flyers then sort them by zip code. YIPEE. everyday after work, id come home exhausted. so going out at night was not on my mind. however on friday, i figured i should get out. i caught the village with the derek. the movie wasnt what i expected.. it was very disappointing @_@ i was ready to fall asleep too... well i was tired and had a really big headache (the kind where it splits in half, grows some legs and runs around banging itself on the walls of my skull). and on saturday, i spent the evening with ant. made lots of hot dogs and watched mystic river. finally. we waited a whole year to watch that movie... and it was pretty good. the outcome was pretty fooked up.. but it was cool. penn really shone in that movie. well, we ate all the hot dogs. actually ant ate more than half of em. @_@ i was so stuffed.. i couldnt even eat my ice cream :( at least i got to try a spoon of each flavor though. chee. so that was pretty much the only things that happened this week.

i cant wait for work to start at the elementary school. kids are wonderful and they keep me in an upbeat attitude. my coworker reina called me today.. im going to miss her :( she got accepted to the college of ed. so she wont be working with us anymore. im going to be stuck with ALL the coordination now. shes the only one that worked those important things with me.. oh well. this year is going ot be a major challenge. i have two writing courses and now i have to coordinate ASC by myself. managing my time is goign to be tough.

i havent been feeling like myself lately. a lot of things arent working out either. maybe im thinking too much. well, im glad i have work to keep me busy.. and space is good to an extent. but things dont feel the same anymore. im definitely cursed with a three month spell. so many thoughts and feelings are running through my head. bah. i wanna run around and have fun. but why am i feeling so anti-social?

i was reading my weekly horoscope today. heres a little part of it:

... Friday is yet another time when you will want to keep a check on reality, especially in the sphere of your intimate relationships or permanent partnerships. The Sun opposes Neptune, so those you are involved with may prove even more perplexing than ever, and it is possible that you could misinterpret their actions. Don't fly off the handle, or do anything you could regret. Give the situation a day or two, and then assess whether it is really worth saying anything or not. On Saturday Venus moves into Cancer, which means that things are going to go quiet for a little while. ...

i have no fookin idea what it could mean. but whatever. stupid horoscopes! why do i waste my time!!?

i want to go shopping. i want to spend money. i want to splurge. i want to eat good food. i want to go to the beach. i want good company. i want i want i want.

i want to talk to the gamestop guy again.. BAD MALESA. BAD! WTF.

testing

2004-08-01T14:38:00.000-10:00

testing a new img host.

fling poo: the joys of ATV

2004-07-27T22:55:00.000-10:00

wow, i have definitely been neglecting my blog @_@ ive been sick since thursday. :( i think i got a less severe sunstroke when i went to the beach with my aunty's family on wednesday. for two days ive had a high fever. which really sucked.. because on thursday i wanted to make the cake myself for min and derek's bday. but that day i was bed-ridden.. or more like couch ridden >.O on friday, the derek came to the house and helped me make cupcakes. i was feverish, grouchy, and delirious. i felt bad that he was the one coming to my house with flowers on HIS bday... im horrible. so that was my couple days with a fever.

saturday rolled in.. i had a lot to do in the morning before i met up with min, scott, jillK, traci, derek, and a bunch of other people. that day we went to kualoa ranch to do some ATV driving for min's 20th bday. yeehaw. it was a lot of fun.. but the dust was just terrible. and lucky me, i was in last of the line. but it was a good thing, because i was going really slow. haha. @_@ it was hard getting used to the throttle, but once i got the hang of it, it was great.. until we went through the course with so many turns. wahhh. everyone was turning hard and fast. i just made little slow turns. heehee O_o i was afraid to fall off the atv. yes yes im a chicken. but hey, the next time would be better :) if there will be a next time... that shit is expensive! but i did em on saturday just for min's bday :) i honestly thought those atv guys were going to fail me during the practice course. we had to go up a hill in one part.. i was trying to get used to the throttle that i forgot to steer O_o so i went down the side of it. i guess it was pretty funny that i was off course.. but it was scary. and i thought they were going to make me go back and wait. but anyway, they didnt and it was an awesome experience :)

after the atv thing, we went camping at barber's point. min is one lucky buggah for getting a spot :) we had a great place to pitch tents and a separate place to make fire, eat, and just drink and be merry. the majority of the night, i stayed on teh beach with scott, jill, jon, derek, and kyle. i wasnt feelin' the drinking thing that day. we had a lot of fun though. three scary guys came up to me at the beach @_@ well actually only one. two of the guys took kyle to the side, while "rick" talked to me O_o he asked me where i was camping at, wehre i lived, etc. he kept offering me beer, smores, and a campfire O_o it was scary. well, they went away and i yelled at kyle for not "busting a nut"... when i really meant "bust a cap." >_< so that was the running joke of the night... we crashed in the tent around 2AM. actually it was kyle, min, traci, and me in the big tent. scott and jill squeezed in the little tent. and derek and jon spooned in the truck bed. hahaha O_o;; i didnt sleep too good because i was dirty and i didnt feel good... also because min has crazy nightmares. haha.

now that its a new week.. i gotta start working iwth my mom at her company. @_@ my uncle who owns the place is on vacation. so hooray.. i get to take care of retail and answer phones @_@ today i didnt go in for work because i felt like shit still. i thought i got better, but i thought wrong. the derek surprised me with jamba juice.. which i didnt really drink because i wanted to throw up. but it was sweet of him anyway @@ i cant wait to start work at ORLS next week. i miss those kids. and we'll be getting a whole new group of kindergartners. yay. its going to be f u n.

toilet-trees in the backyard

2004-07-19T10:34:00.000-10:00

hooray. my mom is back to her normal, kooky self. so now i feel much better :) hah. at first she was only nice because my cousins were over, and then the next day she was a grouchy butt again. but sunday, she seemed to have her panties on the right way.

anyway, this weekend, i spent all my time with family :) on friday, the girls had a little slumber party at my house. i love spending time with them. they are awesome awesome girls. we played monopoly and life. htose games are the shiiizzz. hahaha. wow i havent used that word in a long time. anyway, karolyn is pretty good at saving her money. viv and i were nearly bankrupt. but i cameback, oh yeah. we also watched the haunted mansion. that thing was on repeat or something. we watched it THREE times. ahhaha O_o it was a funny movie though :) eddie murphy is so silly. anyhooters, the next day we went shopping and swimming at rec3 with the rest of the family. i havent gone to the pool in YEARS, so it was really good fun. :) i can still hold my breath for a long time! hahaha.. but after a few laps around the pool, i was exhausted @_@ i think im going to swim more often. its a full body workout and it doesnt cause any real strain on joints.

on sunday, i had lunch with aunt jew and her family. im so glad that they moved to portlock. its always nice to have family around. and she's the only family from my dad's side here.

i just found out something really strange about my aunty and uncle. lets see... my aunty wei married uncle stan. uncle stan had a previous wife - together they had a son, Michael. so my aunty wei's step-son is michael. my aunty Jew married Michael. she married her STEP-NEPHEW? well, that made her SISTER wei... her mother-in-law. WTF O_o. that answered so much for me... like for one thing, shannon and tess would always call aunty wei "gramma". i never understood that till now. hah. O_o;

anyway after lunch with them, my mom and i did errands together. we went to return our wireless stuff to circuit city because compUSA had better prices. they wouldnt do a price match because it was rebate sales.. so we just returned it and went to compUSA. so dumb, they lost a customer. after that, we went to the commissary. "the toilet trees are in the backyard!" hahaha wtffff. do you have toilet trees?

well today is clean the fookin house day. i wanted to go catch i, robot but oh well. yeah, i wanna see that movie. its probably really bad knowing that its a will smith movie, but hey.. robots are fun!

A School Paper on Real Estate

2004-07-15T22:42:00.000-10:00

Another adventure with the crazy seamonkey. the other day, jason and C.A. accompanied me to borders.. unfortunately, they didn't have what i wanted on shelf :( so i ordered the books and the lady said itll take about 2 weeks till they arrive. but i needed them in less than 10 days >_< i was pretty bummed about that.. this morning, kevin asked if i tried barnes&nobles. gah damn why didnt i think of that?! so i called them up.. and sure enough.. they had both the books i wanted to buy! CHEE! i had the guy put them on hold and kevin was so awesome to drive me there :)

the copies the guy put aside for me werent too clean.. so i had to find them on shelf myself.. there was only ONE copy left of one of the books.. and the one i had for teh second book was the last one. @_@ i guess this comic is more popular than i thought.. or maybe its not so popular that they didn't bring in a big shipment. doh! well, i bought the two books even though they werent in perfect condition.

so after our barnes&nobles visit, we went to look for my aunty's new house in portluck. i didnt know the address... or where exactly the house was.. so we just kind of drove around. we saw a BEAUTIFUL house. KEVIN had the bright idea of posing in front of the place pretending that it was ours. he told the workers that we're doing a school paper on real estate and asked if we could take pictures of the house. hahahhaaha. i was cracking up so much.. in my head of course. i didnt wanna blow our cover! so we bought a house.. a H U G E house. and we even have filipino garden workers. O_o we also bought a weekend home by the water. the view is absolutely breathtaking :) that kevin is one crazy mofugga.

after driving aimlessly around hawaii kai, we ended up driving down towards sealife park. we wanted to check the admission fee.. but since parking was THREE DOLLARS, we just continued driving and found ourselves going towards kaneohe. its been a long time since i drove on that road. kevin wanted to stop at the pali lookout, so that was our next destination :)

it was sooo windy!! why is it always windy there?! oh oh. its because the spirits are angry O_o eeekkkk. the view was gorgeous. its places like these that makes me appreciate living in hawaii. its aesthetically pleasing to the eyes (of course im not talking about downtown..) when we got down to the lower part of the lookout, we bumped into cheryl fong and her bf. i wanted to chit chat with her a bit since i havent talked to her since our fshn class together, but her bf seemed to be in a rush to leave, so it was a hi and bye deal.

from the pali, we went down to the stadium mall and bought plate lunches.. and from there we went to dave's ice cream. yes, dessert before meal. thats how you do it. :) i got really full from ice cream though @_@ kevin insisted that i eat the strawberry cheese cake with a waffle cone.. i didnt realize how big it would be @_@ ive had many waffle cones before.. but this cone takes teh cake. it was so thick.. it hurt my teeth biting into it, especially towards the end of the cone. once we finished dessert, we headed back to my mililani house and ate our early dinner. i think the mac salad was spoiled O_o it tasted kind of strange >O

well that concluded my adventure with kevin. today my mom actually talked to me a bit. i think shes getting over being mad at me.. since ive been doing a lot of things around the house for her. haha. i think she was upset is because i havent been home with her at night lately... so ive been redeeming myself for the past few days by staying home at night with her.. even though she no like talk to meeee. @_@ i give it a couple more days, and she'll be fine and dandy :)

Turtles and... JILLYFISHES?

2004-07-14T10:57:00.000-10:00

on monday, i got to spend some time iwth the ever so awesome jilly beans. she has mondays off. chee :) we were suppose to go to hanauma bay, but the night before, i heard on teh news that there was a massive invasion of jellyfish (JILLYFISH! harhar). so we decided to go to waimea bay. the drive there was very relaxing. i love driving through the countryside. theres no buildings to obstruct the view around us and hte road is STRAIGHT. chee. kinda reminds me of the roadtrips i went on in the mainland. by the time we got to waimea, it wasnt too crowded so we scored good parking under the shade :) anyway, it was an awesome day at the beach. =D we saw a huuuge turtle. i name him touchy the sea turtle. harhar. he sexually harassed jill. good times good times. we also saw dolphins! that was super rad. it reminded me of the time i went whale watching in the fourth grade. the dolphins were swimming alongside our boat. it was N E A T to the max. well, i had a lot of fun rollin around in the sand and just acting like a little kid. there werent a lot of people around us so it was cool to just let loose. actually, there were some guys that thought we were idiots though. but who gives a shiet! harhar. after about two hours in the hot hot sun, we went to matsumoto's. their ice isnt as fine as waiola's.. but it was much bigger and cheaper :) just the way i like em. heeeheee. we also went to catch a movie at restaurant row. we were originally going ot see mean girls but it was sold out =/ so we watched breaking all the rules. jamie fox stars in it. i guess it was pretty funny. i think i would have liked the other movie better >O well, after that awesome day with jill, i had to go home to a grouchy, not talking mom. FRICK.

so after less than a week, my dad had to leave back for okinawa on tuesday. it was a real treat for him and for us to have him back for even a few days. we wont be seeing him till January. so no christmas with the pops this year. after saying goodbye to him, i picked up daniel. haha. i havent seen that oompa loompa in a hell of a long time :) despite the arguments and teases we had in high school, he was actually a really good friend who listened to me bitch and moan. well, we hit up gyotaku to have our lunch. very good food :) we caught up on old times and then visited mediocre sau's mediocre show at the KTUH studio =P i feel so bad always cancelling plans with him.. so i had to drop by.. at least to say hi. :) then after our little visit, we paid daniel's gf a visit :) heehee. shes so purty. daniel said her and my personality are alike so we'd mesh well together. haha. O_o its coo :) we'll be hanging out all together some time in the future. yeehaw. and then after dropping daniel off at home, i came home.. and a grouchy, not talking mom soon followed.

i dont know wtf my mom's problem is. as everyone knows, we're really close and i try my absolute BEST to make her happy. but what i do and say never pleases her. sure we have a great mother-daughter relationship. what mom would hide under teh computer desk to "scare" her daughter? what mom would run through sprinklers in the neighborhood on a hot day? what mom would fart and tell her kids to hold their breath? i tell her everything. there are no secrets that i keep from her (well, sometimes i leave out minor details.. but im sure she knows the whole story =P). anyway, since monday she's been giving me the silent treatment. i have absolutely NO idea why. maybe its something i did. or maybe its something i didn't do. i can't read minds. i'd tell her good morning, she doesnt say anything. i ask her "how was your day" when she comes home, all i get is a mumble. dinner is silent. she leaves teh table as soon as shes done. she says NOTHING. WTF. im sad. i hate it when she does this. it makes me wanna just stay home and try to "fix" things. so if it seems like im being antisocial for the next couple days, its because of HER. if she feels like shit, im in for the ride. so whatever is bothering her or whatever i did WRONG, ill be grouchy and upset as much as she is about it.

Here's Johnny!

2004-07-11T16:06:00.000-10:00

its been a really long time since i've gone to the beach. on saturday, my aunty and her family invited me to waimea bay with them :) the girls (viv, karolyn, and theresa) piled into my car. we left around 130PM, so the sun wasn't TOO hot.. but it was still pretty darn hot >_< and i forgot to bring sunscreen @_@ the waves were FLAT, perfect for the kids :) we played in the water for a bit, then of course i decided to take pictures of them. it was nice to finally relax under the sun. afterwards, we drove down to get matsumoto's but the line was lloonnngg @_@ so we went to 7-11 and had our ghetto shaved ice [slurpeeees] =D

my dad is back for a few days. its kind of strange having him home again. but it's all good. i could tell my brother misses having another "man" around the house. hah. o_O my aunty and family joined us for dinner that night. we made vietnamese summer rolls! cheee. my favorite :):) its so healthy and fiiilliinngg @_@ i was so stuffed. and afterwards, i caught anchorman with the ant. that movie was hilarious. i think its the best movie ive seen this summer. there were so many cameos. and luke wilson makes me swoon. =D before the movie started, C.A called me asking if i was watching anchorman... come to find out, he was sitting in the next row. haha. O_o;

well today my mom and i picked up the wireless router things at circuit city. it was funny when no one helped us, but once my mom left to find someone, a worker finally came up to me. so we spent over 300 dollars on the wireless shit, a headset for my brother to use in DoD (yeah. hes a super geek now! ahaha), and a USB memory stick @_@ i set up the wireless thing all by myself! well.. it was pretty easy since everything was just plug and install. computers are so neat nowadays since they can automatically detect the hardware you plug in.

2004-07-08T15:20:00.000-10:00

i got a new layout up.. again. haha. i just wasnt feelin' the previous one. it was cute while it lasted. this time im going for a more clean and simple look. and yes.. think pink. its the in color.

well, so far im enjoying my summer break. its only been four days and i'm already in lazy ass mode. i've managed to watch three movies since the last entry ive made.

on tuesday i caught the terminal with teh derek. (im so sorry, ant! O_o; i'll watch another movie with you. you did ditch me on shrek2.. so we're pretty much even now. XP) it was a pretty good movie. funny, but not "lmfao" funny. it had its good parts.. i wasnt too thrilled about the ending. but i guess it did seem realistic.

yesterday i watched fahrenheit 9/11 with corey. it was very awesome. i didnt expect to cry, but the tears just came out. a lot of it was very moving. however the majority of it just shows that politics are so full of shit. but i guess the movie was a little one-sided. at first i felt sorry for bush, but throughout the movie, it just makes you wanna bash him. i suggest everyone to watch it.

i caught the 10pm showing of spiderman2 with stevie boy, lance g, josh, jonChow. and derek. the movie was really corny, as i expected. the special effects were rad to the max though. last night was really awesome :) i havent seen lance, josh or jon in a hell of a long time. i was so surprised to have gotten a phone call from jon :) it was so great seeing him again. he's still the same hyper, optimistic skater boy. devyn also called me. he joined us for a few mins at zippys around 230AM. he looks sooo different. very indie rocked out. ahahaha O_o but yeah. i was so stoked last night. so many laughs :) i really i miss hanging out with my high school buds. the immaturity lvl is still the same. but thats what i liked. theyre not afraid to have fun and be dumb.

movies i wanna see:
- king arthur
- the village
- anchorman
- soul plane
- white chicks

2004-07-05T10:11:00.000-10:00

long entry. lots of pictures.

POW! my summer course is all pau =D it was real tough but i [barely] endured it alllll. shawn and i had to rewrite a lot of things. but then i ended up rewriting everything and she did the editing. i really appreciate ant helping with shawn's edited paper because it was still in need of much editing. even though the paper was done and everything, i just wasnt satisfied. it didn't seem like an analytical paper to me. it was too descriptive and subjective @_@ well, it was my first famR paper, so i cant criticize it too much.. but WHATEVER. its DONE! the final was a pain in the arse.. there were so many questions that i needed to give examples for. >< so my exam was basically full of BS, and i aint talkin 'bout a bachelor's of science degree. HARHAR. O_o;

so after the exam, i felt two hundred pounds lighter. all the stress was finally lifted... but damn it. i'm still really anxious to find out my grade for the class >< anyway, i spent the morning and afternoon with the derek. we had to pick up a necklace for his sister's graduation present at tiffany's. i laugh at girls who go to tiffany's in packs or herds (whichever you prefer). its ridiculous how materialistic people can be. or maybe its ridiculous that a girl (like me) don't care for things like that. =/ i have a bunch of jewelery that i dont wear. why? because its not me. O_o im not into the bling. hah.

so i parted ways with blue sky and picked jilly beans up from work. we found ourselves at blaisdell park. i like our spontaneity. :) we chilled out under this huge tree, reading our books. its so nice to finally get a chance to read something other than textbooks. this girl is so wack. =P look at her playing with the snake O_o hahaha. no comment. we then stopped by tower records.. theres so many dvds that i wanna buy :( but i have no income right now, so i had to restrain myself...

1" align="right"> 1" align="left">[HAPPY WEDDING DAY JULY 03, 2004] my cousin derrick got married! :) it was a BEAUTIFUL wedding at the hale koa. the ceremony was rather short though.. probably no more than 20 mins. i wanted to get a better shot of them.. but i didn't want to get in teh way of the real photographers. XP after the short ceremony, the elders had to go in the ballroom for the "tea ceremony." [i believe] its a japanese tradition where the bride and groom serve the elders tea and they get money and blessings in return. so that lasted for quite a while.. because there were so many "old people" ahhahaha. the reception was gorgeous. my new cousin in law was breath taking and derrick never looked so happy :) although he seemed kind of bored sometimes @_@ haha. ahh im just so happy for them :) well, i have a lot more pictures of the wedding if anyone wants to see. just hit me up on (L)AIM. haha. O_o; oh btw, the picture of just my brother and me is the FIRST picture in YEARS that we took alone together. he looks like such a goof.

well i hope everyone had a safe and happy freedom day :) the afternoon was spent with my girls! =D the three of 'em came to play with my old barbie toys. ahhh. it brought back so much childhood memories of pulling off heads, cutting their hair, and not dressing them [nude barbies and kens rock O_o]. i can't wait to have my own kids so i can bust out my old dolls and things. after lunch, i took viv and karolyn to the town center :) it was a girls afternoon out. i spent so much money on them.. and me. HAH. since vivien's bday was on the 30th of june, i figured i'd take her out and let her pick her own stuff. so it was great fun. we even stopped at fun factory to play for an hour. the guy that worked there had to help me because fun factory uses the token card now (like D&B). anyway, he hooked us up with stuff. chee. how could he resist those cute girls. =P

for the evening, i ate dinner with my mom. i felt so bad in cancelling dinner plans iwth derek at the last minute... but my mom "surprised" me with food and i didnt want her to eat alone since my brother decided at the last minute to party it up at ford island. >< so after dinner, i went with the derek to waikiki to watch the fireworks. "OOOHHH AHHHHH" ahaha O_o i didnt know how to work my camera to take pictures of the fireworks, so i just made a few videos of em. it was pretty funny because i didnt know htf to use it @_@ but i did get some nice footage i suppose. XP afterwards, since devyn didnt get in touch with me (either i had no reception one point during the day or he never had the time to get out of the camp ground to a place with reception to call me) and min never called so we assumed he was still with his chick, derek and i caught the notebook at dole. aww it was such a sad and sweet movie. i admit i teared up a little. but it was real nice. i could really relate to the girl. anyway, i think all you chicks should go watch it.

so now its monday. i have no school. i have no work. i have NOTHING TO FRICKEN DO. boohoo. well actually, im going to be spending some time with my aunty's kids. :)

2004-06-29T18:25:00.000-10:00

POW! our presentation is PAU! i guess we did alright :) it was a lot better than some groups.. i was afraid we weren't going to seem "professional" with the huge poster board we made, but some groups made teeny little boards that were MESSY. i'm not trying to diss other people, but its true. the first two groups that went were very good. they had a decent powerpoint and were all dressed up. OH. FUNNY THING with shirley. monday we were discussing our "business" attire for the presentation. then shirley said, "no need guys. just wear what you wear everyday." so we all agreed to wear a "clean-casual" outfit. well, presentation day.. i got to class 30mins early to set up. tiff and shawn showed up 10 mins later... and guess what! SHIRLEY was DRESSED UP. WTF!!! she TOLD us not to dress up! it wasnt that we were inappropriately dressed.. its just, we were dressed for an informal presentation. but shirley just had to go all out... after telling us not to. WHAT A BITCH! i was pissed to the max. especially after one of the student comments we recieved was, "why are three members not dressed professionally?" OOOHHH. i wanted to scream. but of course, i kept my composure.. there were other groups that didnt dress up at all. slippers and everything.. so i dont feel as bad. but stilllll. sheesh.

well, shawntell and i worked on our final draft for over FIVE fooking hours! there was so much to edit! WTF. shirley calls us HIGH SCHOOL kids?! she needs to look at her own work. the other night i already rewrote all her shit.. but since today she was LATE yet again to turn in her concepts due to a VIRUS on her computer, we had more work for us today. also we had to rewrite tiff's concepts. i'm just so glad shawntell stuck around to help me today. she took off work to help :) how sweeeeet can that girl get. so yeah. five hours... and its still not up to my par. i'll be looking over it again tonight. @_@ im seriously going to crash and burn after this term is over. THREE MORE DAYS, FOOKERS!!!

ooh and thanks to everyone who's been cheering me up and trying to relieve my stress :) (a blue sky everyday) i dunno where id be without great people like you all. that even goes for an ant who likes to PMD. who's your doddy!

check >>this<< shit out, yo. fookin hilarious. im so going to get you back. fooker.

k. now its time to work on the paper more. WAH.

2004-06-26T13:49:00.000-10:00

late night gallivanting is all that i have time for lately. so i havent been getting the amount of sleep that i need to function right.. O_o

thursday 1230-2AM - kinkos and wailana coffee house with the ant. he finished his paper. yay for him. no yay for me since i still have mine to do.. my mind has been on the fritz lately, and i think it was at its peak that night. "who's your doddy!"

friday 1130PM-2AM - 21 grams with the derek. he bought me a dozen cream puffs from liliha bakery! :) chee. im so glad he could still talk to me the next morning after being a bitch and kicking him out at 2AM. if i was him, i'd be a bitch right back and ignore me for a day. haha.

my group project is really killing me. but i can't really complain since i assumed the position of being the "leader". but like i was telling min earlier today, "when you want things done right, you have to do it yourself." but although ive been bossy and trying to take control, i sometimes end up doing things they wanna do no matter how much i cant stand it. i still need to work on being more assertive and aggressive. for one thing, shirley is giving our group a lot of bullshit. and i dont want to confront her. maybe i am being too nice about it.. but i really dont like confrontations, especially if im going to be the confronter. also our presentation is so wack! i mean, its cute and everything.. but its not what i want. and im really sure that its not what dr. cheang wants. however.. the whole group seems to wanna do the bright color poster board with a fun design.. so i went with it. i hope cheang is feeling lenient this summer..

well my break is over. i better start workin on my shiet. ONE MORE WEEK. i can do this.. dont burn out just yet, malesa...

2004-06-22T23:13:00.000-10:00

i don't understand myself much. im not sad. not happy. not even indifferent. breathing is the only thing i'm sure i'm still doing. which is good, of course. i hope this doesn't sound depressing. it's not meant to. the only thing im trying to get at is that i'm doubtful.

i've always been under the impression that everyone has an exact counterpart that they are supposed to be with. perhaps adjacent puzzle pieces? you just can't be complete until you find that one person. im sure of it. sometimes one piece of the puzzle finds another piece that is completely perfect, almost to sheer perfection. but the only problem is.. its so perfect that the two pieces are almost the exact same piece! so theres no way it can be put together - the pieces dont fit. so the piece needs to find that one piece that fills in the missing part, not be completely the same and up to perfection. its a piece that just feels right.

this is why everyone goes through at least one bad relationship. pieces are being forced to fit. that's just my theory. maybe i'm wrong. and maybe i have no idea what im talking about because im just typing away.

but with everything in my life, i've kind of just gone with the flow, and the results are... inconclusive. its a picture that i cant really make out. well, im satisifed with my life and whats going on now, but sometimes i wonder if better things would happen if i took complete charge. semi-good things seem to happen to me as a result of just "letting" things fit. but what if i took a more proactive approach? would better things happen for me? that's my dilemna. im wondering if i should just let things be...

i think i think too much.

well today was interesting.
highlights:
+ shawntell and tiff going off about our unreliable group member @_@
+ tiff giving the class sass about being "to confi dent" because the person who wrote that is "TOO DUMB"
+ chillin with jill at CC
+ flowers from the derek
+ lunch at ala moana, matchstick men, study session at library
+ ostrich burger dinner and dodgeball with the ant.

2004-06-21T10:32:00.000-10:00

my weekend was nice.
friday - i went to liliha bakery with jill. i got my mom a dozen of cream puffs and a couple ensemadas for her birthday. i originally wanted to get her a cake, but she wasnt going to be home on her bday so i figured the next best thing to her was pastries. har. that night i went to the 50th state fair with stevie :) he was so nice to have given me a wristband. he also gave me this beautiful necklace from disneyland. chee. travis and keane joined us also. we met up with min, traci, jon and the other jon and his gf there. it was pretty fun. its nice being able to just go on rides without having to worry about how much tickets we have left.

saturday - my mommy's bday :) i woke up early to surprise her with the pastries, so we ate those and made sandwiches for the block party. she dressed up in the clothes i bought her.. they fit perfect! yay. hehe. she looked so relax and happy.. something i havent seen in a long time.
i was suppose to join min on his jet skiing adventure, but i had to get a lot of shet done for my group meeting the next day. also there was a block party that was i suppose to help with. the derek came over to study with me, but we ended up watching movies. @_@ and i spent the majority of the afternoon with my aunty making brownies and talking. shes such an awesome aunty :)

sunday - father's day. unfortunately my father is not home. hes doing his duty in japan. i read that bush is sending marines from kaneohe... in a way, my dad is lucky that hes stationed in japan now. lets just pray bush doesnt touch my dad's new unit. my brother had a skate competition to go to, so my mom and i just spent time together :) i took her to ala moana... where i bought her so much crap!!@ doh. hehe nah. i bought her shoes and more clothes.. @@ now im poor. well.. ive been poor. but now im even more poor. i really need to work >_<
that night, i met up wtih my group members. shawntell and tiffany are AWESOME. i dunno about the other one. i dont really want to bitch about her right now. because thatll just make my blood boil. we have so much shit to do by next week.. im panicking already. so im sorry if i was a bitch to anyone lately. (like kevin.. im sorry ive been snappy. :( its the stress..)

so this week is going to be one HELL of a week. i got a lot of shit to do today with my group.. i think the only day that i have a little break is tuesday. @_@ ant? did you still wanna watch dodgeball? wahhh im hungry. its time to EAT. RAWR.

2004-06-17T16:54:00.000-10:00

okay. system recovered.
i was on the verge of shutting down completely yesterday. one of my group members is not very reliable. i dont really want to assume or accuse her of giving us bullshit.. but everything that had happened smelled a little fishy. =/ the lucky thing is we got an alternate family at the very last minute. thanks to tiffany for getting em. we arent suppose to interview someone close to one of us, but desperate times call for desperate measures. we ended up interviewing the family for a good two hours. we had a lot of fun :) and tiff's friend is a real good looking fellow too. heehaw. i really shouldnt be saying that. HAHA. now we just have a lot of shit to do because our presentation is on the 29th. with everyone's busy schedules, its hard to get a time for us to really work things out all together. so basically we're goign to be doing this individually and then put it together later... thats not something im too comfortable with. either i want to work together, face to face - that way i KNOW for sure we're going on the right track, thinking on the same wavelength.. or I do the project myself. its just more reassuring for me that way.

so that was my wednesday night. during the day, i went out with sidekick jason! woo. it was like old times.. minus the house visits. we used to surprise people at their houses... but yesterday everyone was either at work or gone doing something else :( tear. so we ended up eating lunch at jack in the box and chillin at his house, shopping online. har. and i finally got to ride his pimped out car. that guy is one lucky bum. well.. one BROKEASS lucky bum. haha.

i feel so bad :( i ditched sau on our photo adventure. i was looking forward to it too, but i had to get started on the fricken project :( plus i was mad tired from the other night. i didnt get home till 12 and i had to type out a outline of tasks for the group. which btw is pretty USELESS now. the stuff that our prof listed in the syllabus were additions to the 10pg report. i assumed that they were PART of the report... but theyre not. so that sucks ass. we have so much SHIT to do on top of the report.
so lets see...
we have the 10pg report that describes the family philosophy and management practices. it should have concepts that parallel with the class lectures and readings (of course).
3 journal article summaries.
1-2pg case study with 2 discussion questions.
eco-map of the family - plot demands and resources.
character analysis of each family member.
contributions paper.
oh and we have a 20 mins presentation. how the hell are we going to fit all this information into 20 mins!? >_<

i think im going to go mad. well this weekend is going to be a bit relaxing for me. somewhat... tomorrow im going to go to the fair with stevie boy :) min and traci should be joining us too. derek gets back in tomorrow at 6PM.. but he'll probably be tired so i dont wanna drag him to the fair. plus stevie only bought me one wristband. which was really sweet of him :) saturday is my mom's bday. she'll be out gallivanting with her mom and sister for dinner :) and i gotta make my appearance at the neighborhood block party.. because my mom is making me @_@ nah. its all g. those things are good fun. then sunday i have to meet up with my group members to put together the stuff we have finished on friday and saturday. rawr. this is crazy. im so glad i only took one class for summer @_@

well i think ive blabbered enough. i cant believe i rant about school the most. gawwwd im such a geek. someone save me. i need to clear my head. ooh. if i dont fall asleep (like on monday >_<), i'm gonna watch the whole 10 yards for a dollar with the ant. what i really wanna watch is the passion.. but i'll wait for jill to go see that with. she can probably help me refresh my memory on bible history @_@

2004-06-15T19:48:00.000-10:00

i finally went to the doctor for my cough (that has lasted for three weeks already). you may be thinking why i changed my mind in seeing a doctor. well, klinton came up to me after class this morning. i dont really know him. he was in my famR 340 class spring semester and now hes in my summer class. he's this rather short but big local, japanese guy probably in his thirties. he said he was concerned about me because ive been coughing for a while already. he then told me a story about his grandfather who had the pneumonia, and didnt even know he had it until he collapsed. so basically, i was scared and i wanted to make sure it wasnt serious. HAH. BUT another reason why i decided to go was because of klinton. i felt really touched that he was concerned even though we dont know each other. it was very kind of him to acknowledge me in that sense. so i wanted to take his words into consideration... and go see a doctor.

well, after seeing the doctor, it was a big sigh of relief. it wasnt pneumonia :) and he gave me this "strong" cough medicine.. thats suppose to help the cough go away and make me sleep better. which i really need because i'd always wake up at 2 or 3 AM coughing till i want to puke @_@ i think thats why ive been super tired lately. not enough sleep :( anyway, now that i got these meds, i BETTER get rid of this cough by next week. i dont wanna cough like mad when i give the presentation >_<

im so bummed. my fighting fish died :( its been over two years though.. so i kinda saw it coming :( that fish was fricken awesome. jonN won him at the punahou carnival, so we named it jon. jared won a goldfish. so the boys had the "brilliant" idea to put them together.. and jon (the fighting fish) poked out jared's (the goldfish) eyes. O_o;; it was kind of cynical and inhumane. but it was good times! O_O bah. so my mom and i flushed him down the toilet.. i wanted to bury him in the yard, but my mom said i was crazy. well, i hope hes having fun in fish heaven. there are probably goldfishes galore. HAH. x_X

2004-06-14T16:09:00.000-10:00

check-ch-check-check-check-ch-check it out
what-wha-what-what-what's it all about
work-wa-work-work-work-wa-work it out
lets turn this motherfXckin' party out

CH-CHECK IT OUT! got a new layout up :) what do yall think? it has some bugs.. but i'm too lazy to fix em. @_@ i was getting kind of tired of the previous layout.. so heres teh result of boredom and compulsiveness. it took me a good four hours. HAH. so sorry to those who tried to IM me today. i was ignoring everyone. so why was i signed on AIM? i dunno.

btw. this site should be viewed on the resolution i have. which is.. i dont know.

C.A: well, my resolution is 1280x1024
mal: O_o
C.A: so idk if it's just my resolution
C.A: my res is BIIIIG
mal: its fine on my res...
mal: yeah yours is big
mal: ;-)
C.A: it sure is
C.A: and it drives the ladies wild
C.A: does it drive you wild, mal?
mal: hell yeah
mal: i wish i had it that big
C.A: that's what i thought
mal: O_o
C.A: aww...you ruined the moment
mal: but too bad i dont have one
C.A: :-[

so i had my midterm for famR360.. it was alright. if i didnt have a "brain fart" i think i would have aced that suckah. but alas, my brain had to fail on me. yes. i blame my brain! HAH. i had a good four hours of sleep last night O_o damn coffee kept me up and rollin around my bed since 11PM-2AM. i got back my assignment and i got 20! yayayayaya![insert more bragging remarks here] i worked very hard.. so im glad he saw that. now i just need to cross my fingers for my midterm...

this week is going to be pretty chill. hopefully. the only stress filled day will be wednesday. i have the family interview that i must do @_@ we have two weeks to write a 10 page report about the family we still have to see. i hope they give us what we need. thursday i'll be going on a little adventure with sau. that should be fun.

i never really posted pictures of my kitty snuggles (AKA porkchop) so there we go. wee. hes so fat. =P my mom feeds him too much snacks O_o and he likes to eat my flowers. wahhh.

jason says im terrible if i like my space. :(

2004-06-12T13:13:00.000-10:00

an amazing night. an amazign life. i'm just so happy. why? because ive been busy busy busy. with what? with a lot of things. :)

min got back from china this week. wee. it was good hanging out with him at his apt. he had lots and lots of pictures to share. that buggah can sure take pictures. hes got the eye. well.. its pretty obvious wiht his graphic arts skills. i hung out with kevin a couple times at CC. that guy is such a weirdo. he makes me weird gifs. HAHA. but its good times :) hmm, ive been spending a lot of time with the derek this past week. he'll be leaving tomorrow for work on kauai. @_@ a week away wont be too bad. its nothing like what jill has to endure. ooh, friday jilly monster took me on a quest to find billabong surf shorts for her honey bun. chee. we looked all over ala moana... but they didnt have the color he wanted, so we went to the billa store in waikiki. they had it! but the shorts were sooo tacky. O_o i thought wtf are those!? hahah. jill agreed that they didnt look too nice either, so she ended up picking something else for him, which btw are really awesome. she has good taste :)

weird thing at ala moana was we bumped into christina and shannon! like whoa. i havent talked to those girls in a long time. christina looks really different. yet shes still the same way pretty gal. shannon is still shannon :) its like we just hung out the other day or something. i guess it was good seeing them. i really need to learn how to keep in touch with people. HAH. i ALSO bumped into MATT at dole! that was fricken awesome. i gave him the biggest hug. i miss that fool. i also got to meet his gf. :) she seemed really nice. now that i think of it, i was kind of a bitch O_o derek was just off to the side and i never introduced them. hah. not only do i need to learn how to keep in touch, but i need to learn how to be a good host?? nono. an introducer. haha.

so at dole i saw the stepford wives with min, traci, and derek. it was pretty awesome. very funny. like min says, dark comedies are always best. too bad kyle couldnt make it :( he totaled his truck.. >_< i should call that mofo up to see how hes doing. so after last night, i might not see much of min because he has to work full time at hickam :( boo. but we'll see.. i wanna plan some stuff for his bday in july.

i just wanted ot mention.. gas prices are so fricken ridiculous. but im very glad ot be living in mililani. the tesoro at mauka is $2.119 for the regular. woohoo. practically everywhere else, the price ranges from 2.25-2.30 @_@

well i need to study for my hardass midterm :( im scared. this prof is one crazy stickler. but i love his lectures. ive learned so much from him. im not sure if i learned course material.. its more like reality checks.

2004-06-08T17:57:00.000-10:00

i feel so loved today! :) it was nice bumping into jon and then JILL just had to scare the shiznits out of me while i was talking to him @_@ such a crazy woman. haha. funny saying woman, eh jill? =P corey accompanied us also, so that was a nice surprise. he's always calling me strange.. i dunno if its a compliment or an insult. hah. probably an insult >_<
m: *in a low voice* 'you should just STFU!'
c: thats something you WOULD say.
m and j: hahaha
c: (directs at jill) and thats something you SHOULD say.
corey and i always had some strange conversations. ie. snapple bottle. HAH.
when i walked back home after seeing jill off to work, i started on my reflection paper for famR. its going pretty well. not up to my standards though.. bah! nevermind my standards! i'll live... i think. i planned to work on my assignment for the WHOLE day.. but the ant insisted on lunch. he even offered to bring em to my apt. so i figured i should take some time out to chill with that BUGgah. (ant = bug? hahahaha! not funny..? DOH!) while chit chatting and watching shaolin soccer (which btw is not as funny/stupid as battlefield baseball), i realized i underestimated myself. i already did a lot of work.. i didnt really need the WHOLE day to finish it O_o; sometimes i got to give myself a little more credit. after lunch with the ant, derek dropped by to study for his accounting exam while i do my assignment. i really wasnt doing my assignment though. *snickers* damn jason for chatting with me thats why. HAHA. and andrew too. "i want your cack." AHHAHA. oh boy. anyhooters, i love everyone :) nothing eventful really happened.. but these simplistic activities just made my day.

and i cant believe i havent been using my camera. WTF is wrong with me!!! maybe i'll steal ant's pic of my mini pepsi can. heehaw. and not everything in my apt is mini...

2004-06-06T21:42:00.000-10:00

OMFG. i just wrote a long ass entry and guess what! I FRICKEN CLOSED THE WINDOW. wTFFFFFFFFFf. rawrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. forget writing it over again. im sick of blogging.

if i was a robot, i would have short circuited by now.

friday:
- job exploration interview
- fight club with jill
saturday:
- iolani's graduation
- gyotaku with the mom
- billiards with derek
sunday:
- graduation brunch
- group meeting
- chill out with the mom

sorry for not arranging the pcitures nicer.
im lazy.
gtfo.

2004-06-03T21:10:00.000-10:00

WOO.! today was awesome. off da hook, no doubt.

class went by pretty quick. i talked with my group members and they wanted to get together on sunday at 12.. but my cousin's grad party is at 11 >_< so i dunno what to do. i guess i could just email them the interview questions the derek and i wrote up @_@

jill and i hung out a bit after class before she had to go to work. then derek and i studied till noon at teh CC. im behind THREE chapters. WTF. so far im half way done iwth ch5.. after studying, we went back to the apt and made lunch with moldy bread. ewww. hahaha O_o the mold was just on the crusts.. so i cut them out. @_@ we had little sandwiches. haha it was good stuff.. like a delicacy. HAH. we watched finding nemo to kill time.. and we even played the fisherades on the second disc. haha. O.o

when 230 came around i picked up the jilly bean and headed off to hawaii kai for our little duck hunt. harhar. it was good fun.

the duckling pooped on jill. HAHAHA

[i forgot to post the pictures of me holding the ducky when i went with seamonkey]

it was so fun. those big geese chased us away. haha. it was kinda freaky... O_o;;; but exciting i suppose =P

anyway, we left to search for dessert. WOO. we were going to go to liliha bakery... but it wasnt pastries we were craving for. all i knew.. i was craving for ICE CREAM. jill, however, wanted something cold and something munchable. we ended up at dave's ice cream and got the waffle cone. hehehehee. THANKS JILL for the treat :)

the derek surprised me with sunflowers wednesday. i was feeling a bit bummed out that night, but those flowers really brightened up my mood. :) unfortunately i didnt have a vase at my apt.. so we stuck it in teh sink. haha O_o i took them to mililani to put in a vase, then my mom stole em from me. @_@ ahh well. its okay :) at least my mom is smiling now too? hah. by stealing my flowers >.<

well tomorrow is my job exploration interview at the early school. :) hopefully by doing this assignment for famR, i'd land myself a position there. even if it was just volunteer work, i would love working with them. aight. its shower time. i reek. harhar.

2004-06-02T18:39:00.000-10:00

May 31- June 4 Leo's Weekly Horoscope:

"Is one love affair about to reach a peak of intensity this week? There is going to be a Full Moon in Sagittarius, in the love affairs sector of your chart. Venus is also opposing Pluto, so there could be some fun and games, even if they are rather passionate and perhaps a little fraught at times. Love and friendship is a theme that has come up previously, and it is repeated again at this time. Could the boundaries become blurred, and are you about to fall in love with someone who has been a true friend up until this point? Watch your actions and reactions this week, and if you are happy to take one relationship into deeper and more intimate realms, you won't have much trouble doing so. But do bear in mind that the opposite could also happen, and someone you have entertained as a lover is really more suitable to be a friend. You won't have time to mull things over on Wednesday, as emotions will be flying thick and fast. But don't be tempted to jump into any hasty decisions, if you don't feel ready for them. Dreams are important at this time; they help you keep in touch with your real self."

HAH how interesting. but horoscopes are all a bunch of shiet anyway. >_O

last night while i was sleeping, i got an unexpected phone call from jonN! OMG! wtf was i doing sleeping!? i could have hung out with him :( but anyway, in the morning when i found out he had called me, i was so surprised.. then in the early afternoon today, i chatted with him online :) its so awesome talking to him again. i remember i used to tell him everything in high school. he was my bestest buddy :) i miss those days when i'd walk to his house to just chilllll at his house. those were the good ol' days :) slug around, play the guitar, morph photos on PAINT, mix music, play old school nintendo games... siiigh. i miss jon :( and then later jill became part of the madness. so it was way good times :)

well after chatting with him for awhile, i started thinking about all my friends from high school. i think i missed out a lot in high school. for the first two years, i wasnt sociable.. i didnt have very many friends. it wasnt until my junior year, i broek out of my shell at school and made very many dear friends that i wish i still saw today. but thanks to the internet, i still remain in contact with them... if it wasnt for AIM, i dont think i would be talking to them still. im just not a phone kind of person. well.. i am a phone person.. if someone calls me. i guess im not one for making the phone call.

today was my last day of work :( no more income till the end of july. blah. well.. i guess a break from work is nice.. i get to finally concentrate my time on my famR class... which is givng me a lot of stress already. at least i called the Early School today! :) i set up my interview for this friday... that means i will be missing the faculty brunch >_< blah. i already told ms joycie, so its all g. im kind of excited to do the interview.. itll at least open my eyes more to the reality of directing a early childhood learning center. i'll be calling the kapiolani-straub learning center also. i really need to be proactive.. put a foot forward. :) some sense my prof slapped into me.. hah.

well tomorrow is thursday. im going to take jillian to the "duck farm" at hawaii kai. taht should relieve some stress for a couple hours :)

2004-05-31T19:03:00.000-10:00

*tear* the long weekend is over :( ive had the greatest few days though. and i didnt use my camera ONCE! WTF!

and before i say anything, i just wanted to mention that sau got a photo published in teh honolulu magazine! AWESOME! check it!

friday - work was fricken awesome!! we had LOTS of ice cream. WOO. the kids were off the WALL. but so was i. hahahaha. the time went by so fast. the best part of work was when dylan (one of my kindergartners) gave me a card :):):) he spelt my name wrong, but its okay.. here's what it said:

Miss. Mellissa,
"If it weren't for great people like you...
there wouldn't be grateful people like me!"
Love, Dylan

and there was a 25 dollar gift card for old navy inside! WTF! thats so much!! and then dylan's dad kept thanking me for being there for him :):) that made me feel sooo good. i dont think anyone knows how good i felt that day. :) his dad then asked if i'd still be there next year when dylan will be in first grade, and i told him of course! his comment in response, though rather simple and nothing so sophisticated, just made me realize this is what i want to continue doing in life. :)

"thats great. we appreciate that you can be there for him."

awwww... i wish i could be there for him every day. ive grown much too attached to that buggah. which might not be a good thing... but i cant wait for the next school year to start. im truly going to miss those brats during the summer =P

saturday - went out to dinner with the derek. we had thai fooood. chee. i havent had thai food since my dad left for japan. and afterwards we wandered around pearl kai, got lost getting to waikiki (yeah. how could we get lost... but i get lost going ANYWHERE) and just had a rad time together :)

sunday - i spent time with the mom :) :) :) and this time... my brother was with us! it was the three of us! i dont know when the last time my brother went out with my mom and me. so it was real awesome. we went to watch the day after tomorrow. jake gyllenhaal is so awesome... *swoooon* hahaha. but uhh... back to the movie.. it was pretty awesome. the special effects just blew me away. the story line was alright.. the scientific bit was pretty convincing.. i liked their little messages. especially the last line of the movie.. "have you ever seen the air so clean" (im not too sure what he said exactly, but it was along those lines.) HAH. thats right people. if you dont want what happened in the movie to happen in real life, be an environmentalist. i also liked how the movie made the US sound like cocks. words from the vice president: "but our economy blah blah blah. economists. economy blahblah. money money. screw teh environment!" okok.. maybe he didnt say that.. but thats what i heard! just something i found humorous.. anyhooters, go see it in theaters. the special effects are worth the watch :)

monday - i woke up early to leave for my apartment. i had to meet up wiht my famR group members at the manoa starbucks to discuss our ground rules and meeting schedules. those girls are so awesome. i feel so YOUNG with them though! shirley is 26, shawntell is 23, and tiff is 20. well.. maybe i dont feel too young because tiff is there too. but shes MARRIED! craziness. she had reasons why they had to marry early though... because they actually planned to marry in '06, but her hubbie is in the military, so if they marry early, theyll have the benefits and shet like that. its so strange that they thought i was older O_o i dont look old.. so weird. well, we got our rules together.. and it was basically: "come to meetings on time and do your SHIT!" haha. tiff is one funny gal. so after an hour of talking about what type of family we should do our interview with, we departed and i went to watch shrek 2. :) FINALLY. since someone.. im not going to mention any names... *cough* I SMASH THE ANT *cough* decided to watch it without me. the movie was awesome to the max. there were so many jokes that i was a little shocked that theyd have in a KID movie. mhmm. but it was good stuff nonetheless. :) and since i watched gyllenhaal the other day, i just HAD to watch donnie darko. everytime i watch it, i would find a new way to interpret it, or see it in a different light. its so awesome.

so now im just loungin at the apt.. its 7pm.. i should be eating dinner. im hungry. rawr.

2004-05-28T10:47:00.000-10:00

ITS FRIDAY! :) i survived a week of my summer school... FIVE more to go. almost done! haha O.o; this whole week ive been having the most unusual sleeping patterns. i'd go to sleep late, but wake up at at 5AM. then id try to go back to sleep.. and still manage to wake up BEFORE my alarm clock. i dont get enough sleep. so ive been real lethargic lately. but im glad i have friends who drag me out.. so i dont stay at the apt and pig out on butter biscuit sticks (like im doing now. CHEE)

well the other day i had lunch with kevin seamonkey. whoa! i havent called him that in a hell of a long time. we didnt know what to eat, so we wandered our way into hawaii kai. we stopped by this paradise cafe place where the service was horrible. the people there were just very strange and they talked so fast O_o we just got sandwiches and found ourselves at the "duck farm". it was so awesome! the duckies were so cute :) not the big ones... they were freaky. and the geese were crazy! omg. while we were feedint the ducklings, one of the big geese pecked at kevin's back. HAHA. so there was this saliva mark on his new shirt. har har. those silly geese. good times though. it was funny how they slowly approached us while we were having our lunch. scary.. i practically stuffed the whole sandwich in my mouth because i was afraid theyd take it from me @_@ while feeding the rest of the bread to the ducks... it started to POUR. it was crazy! we got soaked to the boneeee @_@ since we still had a lot of time to kill, we went cruisin

and of course i took a couple pan shots at hawaii kai (1,2). the water was SO blue. it was beautiful :) hawaii is THE place to be. harr.

after my afternoon with kevin, i went to work. wee! =D at 530PM, a couple of my kids had a piano recital, so i stook around to watch them :) sooo adorable. i really should practice.. im losing it already. ><

i caught stateside with the ant at kahala mall before he had work. the movie was alright.. as he said, it could have been better. rachel leigh cook was too cute. but the main guy was a little psycho looking... i thought the girl was the schizo O_o

well its going to be a long weekend. hooray :) but on monday, i gotta meet up with my group members to discuss our "ground rules." im really enjoying my famr class. ive learned so much about working with other people already. not that i couldnt work with other people before.. but things just seem to make more sense with each lecture.

the other night before i went to sleep, we had a long talk about our boundaries and values. im glad we got that all cleared up and understood :) things are always better when you just lay it to em straight.

2004-05-26T09:08:00.000-10:00

despite how much of a hard ass my famR360 prof is... i am really enjoying his lectures. he's slapped so much sense into me about long term goals and academics. im able to relate to so many of his examples.. its kinda scary. at least im not the only one who behaves in these ways.. and i still have a chance to change.. to paradigm shift. haha. we're going to be covering theories of how to change behavior, so that might be a bit interesting. the information is so fun and interesting.. but the assignments are going to kill me :( i got a five part assignment due sometime soon. at least i got two parts done! yay for me. i need to find out when the darn assignment is due.. so i can manage my time wiser... i need to do an interview of someone with a job position that i'd like to have in the future. that may take some time finding >_< but i already have an idea in my mind.. i just need to get off my lazy ass and call em up.

well yesterday was a real treat. i had lunch with the ant at sekiyas. its been a long time since we hung out so i was finally able to give him his christmas gift =X haha. its probably broken from being heated in my trunk. >_< well anyhooters, sekiyas wasnt as good as what everyone has been telling me. i had the tokyo udon.. just because i wanted to see what made it different from a regular udon.. and i believe its the salt. that noodle was so damn salty. @_@ but it was ok... the service made up for the bad food. the guy that was serving us looked like he could be in a korean soap opera! it was soo awesome. i wanted to tell him... but the ant was like "eee noo." so we just left him a little message on the napkin.

since we had some time to kill, we stopped by waikiki. it seems like this summer i'm going to get real tanned. i just hope i dont get too dark like my dad >< well we saw lots of interesting people or couples there. the ant asked me whether id prefer the whiter than white guy or the red lobster with orange shorts. it was a tough decision. we took lots of photos while we were there. i love taking pictures.. i just wish i had the eye like some of my friends. most of my photos never come out the way i want them to :( like the ones ive captured there.

here are a couple pictures from work:

the kids were so awesome yesterday. :) good days are always the best. i need to find out when im getting off of work for the summer... i think my last week is next week already O_o i thought they got off at the end of june. doh. that means i really need to watch my spending... ill be JOBLESS for a couple months :(

btw.. i got my second opinion about my pinky toe... ant said i should get it checked. DOH! >_< but i dunno still... it seems kind of ridiculous to go to a hospital to check my fricken pinky toe... its so minor. the ant then made his diagnosis that its just a sprain? or something of the sort. and in that case.. im not going to get it checked. i'll give it a week. XP plus... can you imagine having a splint for my toe?! omfg. so ghetto. hahaha. @_@

2004-05-24T18:53:00.003-10:00

O_o my mom's side of the family.. minus my uncle whos taking hte picture and my daddy whos in japan :(

SHIIIIET. my summer school class is going to kick my lazy arse. its so fricken hard... and my prof is a real pain...

got to class around 725AM. i forgot to ask my auntie if i could borrow one of their bikes... so ill be walking straight every morning. id have to wake up at 630AM adn leave at 7 @_@ why did i get a class that was so early? hell if i know! >< anyhooters, when i got to class, it was really awesome to see so many familiar faces :) im not alone in this madness! haha doh! >O the class syllabus was freakin 10 pages long. every thing was explained in sheer detail. so theres no arguments or negotiations. omg omg omg im going to die in this class. lucky thing was we got out early.. and on my way back to my apt, i bumped into a girl that was in my famR class last sem. we chit chatted a bit and i found out that she took famR360 last semester. she told me he grades really harshly. hard to get an A... >< wahhh. but i guess everyone is right... grades arent everything.. its the skill i learn, right?! doh.

a little before 930, i went with derek to queen's for his MRI report. @_@ it was so weird that we got the same parking stall as last time.. "reserved for us!" hah. lets just pray that we dont have to come back it to too often.. >< he has another appt some time in june to get a second opinion.. thats not always too good.

so afterwards we just wandered around the NEX, ala moana beach, and the mall before i went to work. we found a few strange things.. there was a chair with a jacket propped up. when i first saw it, i freaked. but then i did a double take and thought WTF. @_@ we also saw a tree that looked a bit.. "interesting". HAHA. ahh nasty thoughts >_< and since jill's boy knows me as teh pan shot woman or something like that.. i just HAD to take a panoramic.

i think i broke my pinky toe... it still hurts from the time on saturday when my brother kicked it and it went "CRACK". i thought it was just my knuckle cracking..??? but i dunno.. it hurts still :(:(:( wahhh. someone check my toe!

2004-05-22T14:20:00.000-10:00

WTF!? ITS SATURDAY ALREADY!?!?!?!
CRY

friday was awesomenessly awesomeness awesome. lets see... jillian woke me up at around 6AM @_@ i was SUPPOSED to wake up at 530AM but i blame a certain someone for keeping me up at strange hours in the morning XP i picked her up around 630 and we got to hanauma bay around 730ish. traffic is ridiculous at that hour.. i can't imagine when UH is in session. i think i'd go insane. so im VERY thankful for having an apartment near the university :) so anyhoo, my thing for hanauma bay expired so i had ot watch the 10 mins movie >< "dont tread on the vana!" i didnt know itll expire after a year... i couldnt believe i havent been there for more than a year! it seemed like only yesterday did i go snorkeling with kyle and min. a year sure goes by fast... jill brought her snorkels so we went out and it was absolutely beautiful :) there were so many fishes. i really enjoyed myself out there.. it reminded me of my little girl days when i used to snorkel all the time. heehaw. after about an hour, i decided to just relax on teh beach with my book. i felt kinda funny for some reason. jill had ot work at 11, so we left around 10ish. it was a nice way to spend the morning. (pan shot of hanauma bay.)

after dropping jill off, i dozed off on my couch @_@ i had a couple missed calls so i felt 'spesho'. heehee. sau picked me up to go to UH. i was a little guinea pig for him to practice his manual camera. @_@ i felt so dumb, but it was fun i suppose. he said he owed me one... so i whipped out my camera and made him do stupid things just to get back at him. HAH. revenge is sweet.

at 2 i went to work.. where a cop came and had us do a lock down till 330 O_O i dunno wtf was going on. delude told me there were cops and helicoptors around. SCARY. aiyahh. it was a good day since a lot of kids were leaving early. harhar. so i took the opportunity to leave early too! heehee. so i met up wtih jill again and we went to get shaved ice at waiola's (of course =P)

in the evening, my mom and i went out to dinner and did a little shopping for my uncle whos leaving to go back to hong kong on sunday. for some reason, the mom has been really pissy lately. i dunno what her problem is. it could be her [.] yup. either that or shes still really pissed at my dad for spending over a thousand dollars in less than a month. wtf, eh. my dad spends money as if they grow on trees.

i guess teh highlight of the night was getting picked up and going to walmart to get ice cream. =D i finally got to buy kill bill vol.1 on dvd. so we went back to my house to watch that. it was so funny when derek fell asleep. he was mumbling something about standing for seven hours straight. i told him to take a nap, so he mumbled something and was out cold. HAH. then he woke up watched the rest of the movie and went back to sleep @_@ i had to wake him up to go back home because he had work on saturday. so he left around 230AM. now that i think about it, i should of had stolen some sleeping derek shots. haha. oh well. another time perhaps =P

i got a dinner to go to tonight. AGAIN. ahhh. im really getting sick of these dinners.. before id get real excited for them because id be able to see everyone. but we have them so much now that its getting boring. >< and i can hardly understand a word of what theyre talking about @_@ oh well.. itll be the last time for another five or six years that ill see my uncle. so here we go!

btw.. i spent almost a hundred dollars today =X talk about splurge...

2004-05-18T22:55:00.000-10:00

its only tuesday night and ive already had my fun for summer :) it feels like ive grown up in just this past 24 hours. i truly have great friends who are there for me anytime of the day. yeehaw.

"forget whats coming ahead, live today." i know i tell myself this a lot, but to hear it from someone else just made me realize i really do need to stop over analyzing things. that is always what bites me in the ass in the end. so i have gained a new outlook to life - go with the flow. im going to stop this analytical bullshit and just LIVE. like what jill always tells me, "you just have to feel it." :) I'M FEELIN THIS!@ hahaha

so monday derek and i grabbed breakfast at mcDs and took my car in for a safety check. first time safety check at jiffy lube. i didnt know what i was doing.. haha @_@ lucky thing i had derek with me to guide me every step of the way. the jiffy lube guy liked my budweiser towel. heehaw. who doesnt, eh? got my white sluts.. need to be prepared. XP the jiffy lube people never called my name to let me know if the car was ready or not O_o after a while derek went to ask someone about my car and it was already done >_< we jsut had to pay. doh. so from there we headed over to queen's hospital for derek's MRI. i didnt know MRIs were for other parts of the body besides the brain. ive always thought it was just a brain scan. hopefully his knee is okie dokie so there wouldnt have to be a surgery @_@

work was good fun on monday. my boss left early and i had kirsten bring out the majority of the kids to the ewa playground. so i was inside having a ball with only a few =P they are so silly, always putting a smile on my face :) i let one of my kindergartners take countless pictures of things in the ASC. i deleted a lot of them though :( some really werent worth keeping. >< like a lot of my own photos. haha doh.

i got to watch troy after work on monday. that movie was pretty awesome. brad pitt's nakedness was too much for me to handle. yowzahs. hahaha. i cant really compare teh movie with the book because i havent read the iliad in so long. i forget a lot already. haha oh well! when i get the time maybe ill take a looksie at borders. but anyway, the movie was pretty neat. a lot of action. heh. whats with action movies this summer? @_@ we need more mean girl type movies (NOT).

i didnt go to sleep till 2AM that night because i had too mcuh on my mind. but i was glad to have gotten a bit of it out of my system. :) i had to wake up at 630 to go to the beach with jillian @_@ she ended up coming late. HAH. at least i got to sleep a bit on the couch =P we've never been to lanikai beach in kailua... so we were on our adventure. heehaw. dont ever use the map in the PHONE BOOK. yeah. it SUCKS. wtf. we were following the road from the phonebook.. and come to find out, the street at teh end in the phonebook wasnt the street at the end in actuality. i wanted to throw the phone book out the car window for being dumb. but good thing i didnt because it was what helped us to get OUT of lanikai. hah. anyway after an hour, we made it out to the beach adn it was gorgeous. it was picture perfect :) the sand was so fine.. it felt like we were walking on powder. anyway, it was a perfect day of relaxation with jilly beans :) that girl is one awesome chick.

now that was one heck of a TAN. i think im BURNT :( i put sunscreen on but i think teh sun really scorched me @@ at least it doesnt look as bad as it does in the pictures now. after ive settled my tan, its all g? haha i dunnnooo @_@

after beach fun, i had work @_@ i was really tired... but i had to put up with them and smile. haha. sometimes its really hard to keep a happy/lively attitude when you just feel like shit. anyway, i just had a bad experience with one of my kindergartners. its so heartbreaking.. and all i can do is hope and pray that his family arent what i think they are..

when i got home, a friend of mine reminded me that GRADES were posted already. and FRICK.. i got a 3.6. >< dropped my overall gpa. no fair no fair.
FAMR331 A
FSHN185 B
ECON120 B+
PSY250 A
FAMR340 A
but im not gonna complain. im stoked that i got a B+ in econ. chee. and now i dont have to deal with that crazy lady @_@ im kinda going ot miss that class. it was nice having aaron in my class again. too bad we dont have classes together next sem.

now its bed time. im mad tired. weeee.

2004-05-16T23:28:00.000-10:00

its been a while since i posted up pictures on my blog. haha @_@ finals week have kept me super busy so i had no time to play around with my camera. that really isnt an excuse.. but i dont care.

that is our apt... YUP. all that on the floor is actually jen's though. HAHA. she was working on her paper for linguistics @_@ all the clothes on teh printer are mine. >_O i dunno why i throw my shiet there. i took those two pictures at 3AM when i woke up and couldnt go back to sleep. how odd my sleeping patterns were during finals week. well anyhooters, i really need to clean this week. HAHA. hooray for summer cleaning. im going to redecorate the bathroom too. i dunno if i should surprise jen... or consult her. hmm... decisions, decisions. if i surprise her.. i was thinking of doing a blueish starry theme... i dunnnnoo. i gotta wander around walmart to get some ideas. hahaha.

so friday i saw van helsing with jill, kyle, stevie boy and arthur. i guess the movie was pretty good... the story line was HORRIBLE. lame to the max, yo. but the action and special effects made it alllll worthwhile. plus jackman is a total stud for an older guy. without the action and jackman.. i give the movie two thumbs down. HAH. there was some badass shet that went on in the movie that i really liked. hehehe. the little babies were scary... yeahhh. oh boy. if you wanna see this movie... go matinee. or wait till it shows at restaurant row. =P

saturday i had a dinner to go to. my uncle from hong kong came in a while ago so we got together that night. it was like the usual party.. they ask me how im doing with school, what im majoring, when im graduating, etc etc. then they go off speaking to each other in chinese.. where i sit at a table reading a book for the majority of the time. yeehaw. i sure had a jolly good time.. @_@ i finally get time to read my own things now. no more of these things we call.. text books. im currently reading a book by tannen. its about the gender differences in communication. good stuff.. its kind of humorous because its SO TRUE. harhar.

on saturday, i came to find out my mom made plans for sunday evening. the sunday when i was suppose to go hiking with min. she made me feel so bad because i was going to miss the party... and then i felt bad for missing the hike >_< i woke up real early to help her clean the house and buy stuff at the commissary @_@ so i helped my mom with the preparation and shiiet and got min to make the hike a little earlier. so it was all g in the end. :) too bad traci couldnt make it to the hike... but jon, kyle, and jill were able to come. so the five us trucked our asses up there. hehe.

it us 30 mins to hike up diamond head. it was so awesome. and so short. hahaha. the view was great. i took a pan shot again.. came out crappy but OH WELL. it was great fun :) just being with those kids was awesome. anyway, we stayed up there for a good half hour then we hiked it back down. which seemed like it took a shorter time. after the hike, jill and kyle came back home with me in time for the party :) they were so nice to suggest bringing in pie from zippys, so we made a stop there to pick up the boston cream.

so all those pictures make up for all the days ive missed. hahaha. wee?

2004-05-14T11:31:00.000-10:00

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!@@!!!!!!!!@ ITS FINALLY OVERR!!!

i have SURVIVED finals week. :):):):):) im so HAPPY! ahhh. this semester is pau.. POW! i kicked its arse. well.. actually... more like it kicked MINE. waahh :(

last night i went to the library to study with aaron, and jordan for our econ. courtney, sarah and derek joined us also. too bad we didnt get much done. those two boys are KOOKS! it was good fun though. lots of laughs :) after a while of not getting anything done, they left derek and i to our studies. i finished the rest of the study guide (which was only half because i didnt go to the first review session) so i felt pretty proud of myself :) the funny thing was that derek helped me understand quite a bit of my econ even though hes never taken it. O_o there was a lot of stuff that i remembered on the final because of him, so i owe him big for that. the exam was so hard though :( i finished it within an hour.. only because i wanted to get out. i didnt even bother double checking the darn thing. i hope jordan and aaron did okay.

so one week of break.. and i got summer school. wee? what really sucks is that the prof is a real pain in the ass (or so ive heard from my fellow famR classmates). he HATES when people are late for his class... so its going to be real hard for me to make it on time.. since the class is at fricken seven thirty in the morning. RAWR. also hes anal about the work that we turn in... so i might be working harder than i thought this summer :(

well i shouldnt think about that. nor should i think about how hard the econ final was because its my break now. time for a little R&R. to celebrate, kyle and i are going to watch helsing. :) i cannnntt wait. i got time to make my weekends FUN now. haha. :) lets throw the books out the window! yeehaw.

2004-05-12T20:57:00.000-10:00

people say when you're really happy with someone, you put on a few extra pounds.

its true.

i just ate so gosh darn much today @_@ *POP* sushi oishii desu. =P

TWO MORE FINALS AND IM DONE.
i really dont give a rats ass anymore. WAHH. i dont wanna study! but i have to. my GPA is definitely going down this sem :(

watashi wa dakishimeru ga hoshi.

2004-05-10T18:41:00.000-10:00

and so it has begun.
FINALS WEEK.

~~Monday: FSHN185~~
Tuesday: FAMR340
Wednesday: FAMR331 Debate
Thursday: PSY250
Friday: ECON120

i felt so hashed today. but i survived.
hopefully i did well enough to get an A in fshn185. I highly doubt it. My famR340 class doesnt look too promising anymore. the way the prof grades is confusing. i dont know if im getting what i hoped to get :(

well.. despite how depressed and grouchy i felt, the kids sure were fun today :) one of my kindergartners was telling me all the things he wishes for. heres a couple i thought was really strange coming from a kindergartner:
"I wish all the people could be sexy!"
"I wish all the girls would love boys!"
yeah. thats josh for ya. =P

and another funny thing was i asked if they knew popeye the sailor man. so i sang the song..
and cyrus said, "what kidn of cartoons do you watch!?"
haha. so cute. then later he was singing the song.. "Poppa the sailor man!"
i told him, "no cyrus! Its POPEYE."
"HE LIKES PIE?!"
hahaha. aww :)

so during work, all my worries were gone.. till i got off. HAH. FOUR MORE EXAMS and im DONE.

thanks to scott, jill, derek, jon and kyle for studying with me tonight. it was good fun :) although we didnt get much studying done. aiyah @_@ hahaah.
a few highlights:
-panda jon.
-rat in bushes.
-porn store closed.
-paper football at the cafe.
-kyle's 'shopping spree'